I bet he was just sleepy….
Now let’s just imagine if Bush or Sarah Palin said Corpse Man instead of Corpsman (should be pronounced as CORE). Now don’t get me wrong, Bush and Palin said some real stupid shit and I’m sure at this moment all of you are thinking “Fool me once…..” and “I can see Russia from my kitchen” bla bla bla, but see you remember those don’t you? Did you see those happen live? I bet you didn’t. I bet you heard it on your local news, local papers and plastered all over most of the cable news channels. Fuck I think I even remember seeing a “Fool me once” bumper sticker.
What drives me up the fuckin wall is that double standard. When Bush or any other conservative and/or Republican (yes they are different btw) says some shit like that they are morons, stupid, idiots, rednecks etc. But when VP Joe Biden tells us he has a 3 letter word for us then spells out J O B S, no one gives him shit or covers it, and trust me JB makes Bush look like he was in Mensa. Now I’m not saying any of these people are dumb. Far from it. What we have to do is call people out equally. When a Democrat makes a mistake it’s just that “it’s a mistake”. When Obama tells us he’s been to 57 States so far, “well he was jet lagged”, “he was tired”, “57 is the new 47″ but because the way Bush says the word “nuclear” he is a redneck, retard, idiot, moron.
Come on now, really?? I’m just saying fair is fair. Just because you don’t support my side doesn’t make you stupid or my side any smarter. Not that ANY of this shit really means anything, all it does is just takes focus off the real issues and problems at hand. I just hope that all this “slack” the media is giving Obama they give the next President and the one after that and so on, no matter what side they are on. Maybe once we start focusing on “issues” and not on who fucked up reading a teleprompter or wrote something on her hand (by the way the title of that article is “Palin Hand Notes are Alarming and American Public is Shocked” Are you fuckin’ serious?!?! “Alarming” and “Shocked”, you see the double standard? Alarming and shocked?? For writing quick points on her hand?!? Obama fucked up how many states are in the country he was running for president in but that’s not shocking or alarming?!?!! A grown man not running for president not knowing this, but hand notes?!) or who butchered “an old Texas saying” we can start get shit done. All this “At least Obama can say nuclear” shit and “Well at least Bush knew how many states were in the US” shit really doesn’t help fix record numbers in spending, record unemployment numbers, a downward economy, and our kids future. Those are the real issues. Not who looks coolest. People fuck up and yes even Presidents even fuck up, if you don’t like it VOTE, but please let’s look at the bigger picture here all this does is take us off the point. Focus people. 
I hate the Super Bowl
Let’s see how long it takes the NFL to shut me down for even saying the word Super Bowl. Isn’t that trademarked or some shit. Fuck it. I wouldn’t back down. It might just be the fight Winky Face needs to get on the map.
Ok here is the point of this post. I hate the Super Bowl. I can’t stand it. I watch the NFL draft, I watch pre-season, I watch the regular season every weekend and I watch the playoffs, I watch the Pro Bowl, and yes I watch the dreaded Super Bowl. Why do I hate this final game so much? Well as an NFL fan this game isn’t for me. It’s for the morons and retards who watch one game a year. See the NFL already has me as a loyal viewer. Week in and week out I’m there. 16-0 or 0-16 I’m watching my team play. When I have the time I’m also watching other teams across the league play. Now the NFL knows this, but the Super Bowl, well that’s totally different. How do you get “everyone else” to watch the game?? Well you spend millions and millions of dollars in advertisements and even more money on half time shows. Do you really think us NFL fans give a fuck about a half time show? Do I really want to watch Britney Spears shake her ass (well yes but not today) for 20 minutes instead of watching the game? Do I give a fuck about the witty commercials “everyone is talking about the next day”… Not really. I don’t care about summer blockbuster movies, which bimbo is going to show her tits for the new GoDaddy commercial and I really don’t want to see some “iconic” rock band dance around like a bunch of assholes fucking up the field. Now I know some of you know my family history and are probably going to say “But Aaron, didn’t your stepdad play the half time show one year?” Yes, he did, and that was fuckin’ cool of course!! And while it was cool to see, great for his career and awesome because I got to see my first Super Bowl game at the stadium it brings up another point. There were no “fans” in the damn stadium. Ok maybe there were a few but the fuckin’ game was loaded with press people, famous people, suits, advertisers, seats most likely given out as some favor or some shit, but no it wasn’t a Football game crowd by any stretch of the imagination! I mean if you are the casual Super Bowl watcher do me a favor, go to a local game next season and watch a game, if you can make it a rivalry game or playoff game even better but if not no worries just go see a game. Don’t watch one game a year and call yourself a fan. Btw no club seats or a luxury box doesn’t count. If you can get end zone tickets, in the snow, drunk. Then you will be a fan. Once you see that you will realize that no, the Super Bowl isn’t for the NFL fans.
Next what drives me up the fuckin wall is on Monday around the water cooler I have assholes asking me “Hey how did you like the Super Bowl” and I say “well the defense was flat and the other team took crazy advantage every chance they got. If it wasn’t for that play in the 3rd quarter (and dude, buy the way they are quarters not periods, a period is what happens to you once a month jackass) I think the game would have done a 180 but overall it was a good game” Then these jackasses say “yeah but what about those commercials” Huh? What the fuck did you just ask me? Commercials? How the fuck do I know, that’s when I go get more beer and maybe another serving of ribs. That’s also when I check my squares and see all the scoring combination that can possibly be made so I can win, then brag that if I get one safety and a two field goals and missed extra point in 3 minutes I’ll win $500. You think I’m actually sitting around enjoying the commercials? If it wasn’t for my guests I’d DVR the fuckin’ game and start it an hour later so I can zip through the commercials you so hold so highly.
I mean really?!?! Commercials? EVERY other day of the year people hate commercials, we watch stuff on DVR, DVD, the internet and TiVo just to blast through the commercials. Remember fellow Winky readers, we HATE advertisers (rest in peace Billy Mays, the only advertiser worth his weight in gold), we hate these assholes. These are the same jerkoffs who come out with dolls you breast feed and tell you that you can really tell the difference between Brand A and Brand B. These are the same people who spend millions and millions just to sell a $1.00 candy bar. Yet this Sunday for some reason these same commercials I hate so much are finally special? Not to mention they will be running for the next 4 months around the clock after the game had long been over? I mean seriously people you are talking about commercials. It’s nothing more then a means of suckering you in to buying their shit over some other companies shit. Do you really want to feed in to this? You have all bought it hook, line and sinker. I mean really??? Commercials??
Next is the pre-game and half-time shows. I can tell you I have never seen one pre-game show (and yes my stepdad also played one of those as well). I don’t see the point. Just start the game. Which brings me to another point. Just sing the National Anthem in under 10 mins please. We don’t need a soulful rendition of the song. It works fine on it’s own merits. None of this Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pause pause breath Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-eeeee-ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Makes me want to puke!! Like I said earlier just play the fuckin game. When all is said and done the halftime show is what 45 mins? Seriously? Just play the game. Stop with the circus already. I don’t need The Who, The Boss, or whatever tendy cool hip “artist” happens to be hot at the moment. I really don’t want to see Lady GaGa’s camel toe while I’m trying to watch a game for god sake! Please just put that thing away. That goes double for Janet’s plastic titties too. (Yeah I went there)
Another thing I know is going to happen but if I hear one word about Haiti and how everyone is wearing arm bands or some shit I promise I’m going to shoot my TV. Before you start thinking I don’t give a fuck about Haiti you are wrong. I just don’t want to see it during my Super Bowl. It’s not the time or the place. I watch sports because it’s an escape from reality, it’s a game, key word being “game”, it’s not suppose to be serious. And to be honest I really don’t give a shit about what some ex-football player who left college early to play football and lost all his shit when he left the NFL but now a commentator for the game has to say. His opinion means nothing to me. He probably couldn’t find Haiti on a map. Yet I’m suppose to pause for a moment because some college intern working for NBC wrote him some speech. Blow me and your grandstanding.
So there ya have it. Just so you know while you are at work this Monday talking around the water cooler and see me walk up, please don’t ask me my thoughts about the Super Bowl because I really don’t think you want to know.
Are you LOST? (oh that was witty)
The TV show Lost started it’s final season last night and if you are like me you enjoy the show, but are PISSED off at all the unanswered questions. So here ya go, a nice parody song about Lost and all the unanswered questions that have come up over the seasons, not to mention it’s kind of a nice refresher before you jump back in to the last season.
Umm, no there isn’t, not always, moron!
So today I want to talk about another peeve of mine. The saying:
There are two sides to every story, then there is the truth.
I abso-fuckin-lutly hate this statement. First off if the “story” involves more then two people then your shitty little statement already got blown out of the window. What, now you meant “there are three sides to a story and the truth”? Fuck it, lets just say the story involves two people to keep it simple. This statement also assumes that both people are fuckin’ retards (a statement I usually would agree with but if I’m involved then it’s me and a moron). What I mean by that is that you now assume that both people can’t recall an event, subject, story without fuckin’ it up somehow. That both people see it different then how it actually is. Again not always the case. Wait, before you get all philosophical on me and try to explain how everyone is different, I want to stop you and say slow down Nietzsche because no, they ain’t. We can “target” markets, people, groups, races, religions, etc for our own benefit because people are sheep, plain and simple. Fuck, advertisers do it all the time, why, because a lot more people are alike then they are different. This whole “everyone is different” shit is just something you say to yourself to feel special, but trust me you aren’t that special.
Example story: Me and my buddy go out for a drink on Friday night. I get a flat tire and my girlfriend is pissed off that I come home at 4:00am in the morning. I tell her “I got a flat tire”. She doesn’t believe me, she calls my buddy and he says “We got a flat tire”. One fuckin story AND the truth.
Another example: I get in a fight with my friend because he is being a douche. I tell him “dude your being a fuckin’ douche and I don’t appreciate it”. He throws a pissy-fit and we have a falling out. Now everyone asks me “dude what happened?”, I say “he was being a douche and I called him out and he got pissed off and I haven’t talked to him yet”. They ask my friend and he says “I don’t know, he was being all overly-sensitive one day and just started a fight and I haven’t heard from him once since then”. This is two sides of the story, true, but one side IS the truth and one isn’t. Was my buddy lying when he said his side of the story? Maybe not, but his memory isn’t worth shit and he is brutal at recalling stories plus he probably doesn’t want to admit he was being a douche and he was wrong. Here you have the truth and a moron. This saying would be what: “There are sometimes two sides of a story, one of said stories happens to be the truth while the other is not a correct recollection?” That’s catchy huh?
Last example: Read a fuckin’ book. One story, one side. I read a Koontz book last month, my dad read the same Koontz book. Guess what, it was the same book for him as it was for me. Fuckin’ Koontz made up the story so there is only one side to tell. And don’t give me that shit about “well each character in the story has a side to tell”, no moron “they” aren’t even “they” it’s names on a page, “they” aren’t even real people. There is no “other side” to that story, unless Koontz wants to “make one up”. Would this saying be: “There are two sides to every story, unless that story is made up by someone and told by that someone and happens to not really have anything to do with the truth at all because it’s a made up story anyway”??
The only way this statement is true is if both people are trying to fabricate the story to the best of their interests, both morons, self-serving or whatever. Before you get on your soap box and start talking about “there are two sides to every story” please stop for a fuckin’ second and realize that you are a retard and probably wouldn’t see the “truth” if I slapped you in the face with it anyway. And who the fuck are you to judge the “truth” anyway. Sometimes it is what it is, accept it. Not to mention that’s such a cunty, naggy thing to say to someone when they are trying to tell you what happened. Honestly next time someone says this to me I’m going to scream. I mean really, if you say that to me you are basically telling me I’m lying to you, that my “side” isn’t the truth. Well fuck you! See, you really don’t want to be that douche bag do you?
Book Review: Satan’s Circus
Posted by "Book"Mark in "Book-Mark", WInkyPost on February 3, 2010
Click here to buy Satan’s Circus from Amazon.com
Satan’s Circus: Murder, Vice, Police Corruption, and New York’s Trial of the Century
By Mike Dash
I reckon the subtitle of this true life novel says it all. All the ingredients needed to publish a great read are included within the pages of this historical work. Picture, if you will, NY City circa 1900. Ethnic neighborhoods; horse and buggies; gambling parlors; prostitution; corruption; protection rackets; payola; iron fisted law and order provided by unscrupulous police. Then add greed, territorial disputes and general chaos and you begin to get the flavor of Satan’s Circus. You want to travel back in time? Feel the need to relive the experience that our grandparents had to deal with? Want to feel the whack of a night stick by a beat cop? Well faithful reader(s) on my riveting reviews—pick this book up. You will be transported back in time to a time when men and women were trying to survive in a rough and tumble era and a very tough city-NY.
If I may add some personal insight to anyone who is still reading at this point: we as a people have made lots of progress since the 1900’s and have learned from the past on how to improve the present and hopefully the future. But in the course of reading this book, I found some of the crimes committed by both the law and the citizens of yesteryear are the same as are commented today. The moral—read history now before it’s too late.
Another Kick-Ass trailer
This movie looks fuckin’ AWESOME! I can’t wait to see it. So here ya go, the newest trailer. Enjoy!
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps trailer (that’s Wall Street 2 btw)
Wall Street (the original) was a fuckin’ AMAZING movie! If you haven’t seen it run out to the mall right now and buy a copy and watch it instead of watching what-ever-the-fuck is on TV tonight. You will not be disappointed. We know Douglas is going to knock this out of the park as Gordon Gekko, my only apprehension about this flick so far is Shia LeBeouf being in it. Hey who knows though, this could be his breakout flick as a serious actor and not just “That kid from Transfomers”. Oh yeah and that cell phone fuckin RULES!!! Wish I could get one of those today, big is the new small, Cammy Diaz has one twice this size. (that’s an old SNL reference if you morons don’t get it).
The Losers trailer.
This movie looks cool as hell. I was at the movies last night and watched this trailer and thought I would share it with you all. Post up with you think!
Where the Wild Things Are: Directors Cut
James Gandolfini mash-up with The Sopranos and Where the Wild Things Are. This is AWESOME!!! This is not your kids Where the Wild Things Are, that’s for fuckin’ sure.
For an hour I forgot Chris Matthews was relevant
So you have this douche bag Chris Matthews (yeah the same douche bag who gets a “thrill up his leg” when Obama speaks) took it one step further last night after the STOU (that’s State of the Union for you uneducated retards who were watching reruns of American Idol or some shit) and said “For an hour I forgot he was Black” (I’m paraphrasing not quoting). WTF?!?!?!
First off where the fuck is the outrage? Imagine if Sean Hannity said something retarded like this. People would be asking for his head. I get it, double standard, but please for the love of god enough already. I guess if you are on their side you can say anything you want. Talk about his Negro-dialect is ok if you’re on the same team. But hey tell an old mother fucker half dead on his 100th Birthday he would have made a good President and you get fuckin fired on the spot! “How dare he, he was part of the separatist movement!!!” Listen the guy was almost dead at that party and it was just something to make the old bastard feel good.
Second what the fuck does Chris even mean by this. What because Obama spoke well, was articulate, dressed well, had some conviction and education that he must not be black? Of course a black man couldn’t be up there like that. Now I understand what he meant so don’t come here posting shit before you read the this whole thing. He meant that when he was looking at Obama he didn’t even see color. Not Asian, White, Black, Woman, whatever, just President Obama, yeah we get it, but I don’t know about you the underlying statement WAS racist. Call it bad wording, mis-spoke or what-the-fuck-ever, it was offensive and he should be ashamed. He is a “professional” (and I say that lightly) and should think before he speaks.
Anyway, this guy is a moron. Plain and simple and because he is on the good team you probably aren’t going to hear this story anywhere (other then talk radio or on Fox News) so I figured I’d post it up for you all. Remember that shit next time you call me a redneck, teabagger, racist because I’m a registered Republican. Before you start calling me and my party names look at your backyard and the people who represent you and your team before you start slamming me.
Butterface………
I guess according to RadarOnline.com (don’t bother clicking because it’s not there) the white trash bimbo know as J-Woww from the MTV show Jersey Shore has nude photos online somewhere. Shocking, I know. Well from watching the show I can say, why the fuck do we even need to know this? This bimbo danced around half naked all the time, and from what I can tell from her other online pics she is always half naked so who the fuck even cares anyway. She has a banging body but that face is busted.
Well I don’t know about you, but every time I see this guidette I can almost hear the Herpes screaming at me to stay away (or for help, I can’t really tell)…. Can you hear it too?
iPad: For those extra heavy days….
I’m going to have to give this device a big fat FAIL as the cool interweb people say.
In case you didn’t hear Apple announced the iPad today. The much hyped tablet leaves much to be desired. First off the top of my head it looks like a giant iPhone or iPod Touch. It only runs one app at a time (like the iPhone and Touch) so no multi-tasking, has no Flash for the web, no USB, no HDMI out, no folders for application management, no camera not that I really need a camera like an iPhone but a front facing one for iChat or whatever camera chat program you use to me seems like a really bad idea, no lock screen info, and I’m sure I could drone on and on with what it can’t do. I think today was a total bust for Apple. There was no mention of a new iPhone OS (4.0), AppleTV updates, iLife updates, MacBookPro updates etc. Overall this was it. The iPad. It’s not the laptop killer or netbook killer people hoped for. I’m sure once the blog people stop sucking Steve’s dick for 10 mins and actually sit back and look at this thing logically they will realize that 1. They have no use for it. 2. It’s really not that great of a product.
So what can this thing do. Well it’s WiFi and 3G (3G cell service requires a more expensive unit and monthly fee via AT&T), it can check email, run some games, many apps, surf the web, bla bla bla. Really take an iPhone or someones iPod Touch for a spin and basically other then some little visual tweaks and a few iPad specific apps that’s it. My iPhone is already an iPad but that can make calls and take pictures.
So from an Apple Fanboy let me be the first to say I think this product is a bust and really wasn’t worth all the hype leading up to it.
And for the record: iTampon is beating iPad on top Twitter trends at the moment.
Update again… (I’m posting these as they come in so keep checking back)
Guess I’m not the only one who is seeing the absurdity of this device. Giz is already starting to post negitive posts about it. Check here to read it.
Another Update. Well not really an update because it’s kind of old, but fitting none the less:
Update again…. This just in Apple announces the iPad Nano:
Updates keep coming!!!
Check out this product found back on Giz. Now that’s a tablet that would kick ass!!! Best of both worlds.
Apple iPad Fail
Garmin Voice Studio lets you mess with people!
Garmin GPS company came out with this cool little app called Garmin Voice Studio, it lets you record you’re voice for your GPS unit (mostly just the Nuvi series).
So other then doing my best Mr T impression for my GPS or a drunken pirate for my enjoyment, I think I’m going to fuck with my friends and families GPS’. Basically you can change voice prompts. “Take left” changes to “Omg look out!!!”, “Make a U-Turn” now will be “Hey retard you missed your turn and now ya gotta back up on the highway”. This is going to be a blast!!
Blink!!!!
Ok this is a good cause and hell it’s only $10 bucks that comes on your cell bill. But what the fuck, blink already!! She blinks once in the whole 30 second commercial. I don’t know about you but I think this is creepy!!!
See this movie and die!!!
I knew there was a reason I didn’t want to see this shitty movie. Not only is it shitty but it can kill you. According to News.Com.Au a dude died days after seeing this and his doctor blames the movie.
* Man starts to feel unwell during movie
* Dies 11 days later
* “First death linked to Avatar”A 42-year-old Taiwanese man with a history of high blood pressure has died of a stroke likely triggered by over-excitement from watching the blockbuster Avatar in 3D, a doctor says.
The man, identified only by his surname Kuo, started to feel unwell during the screening earlier this month in the northern city of Hsinchu and was taken to hospital.
Mr Kuo, who suffered from hypertension, was unconscious when he arrived at the Nan Men General Hospital and a scan showed that his brain was haemorrhaging, emergency room doctor Peng Chin-chih said today.
“It’s likely that the over-excitement from watching the movie triggered his symptoms,” the doctor said.
Mr Kuo died 11 days later from the brain haemorrhage, and the China Times newspaper said it was the first death linked to watching James Cameron’s science-fiction epic Avatar.
Film blogging sites have reported complaints of headaches, dizziness, nausea and blurry eyesight from viewers of Avatar and other movies rich in 3D imagery.
So there you have it. If you haven’t seen this movie yet, don’t! If you have seen this movie in the last 11 days seek medical attention immediately. If you have seen this movie and liked it please leave my site and don’t come back because you’re clearly not my target audience and probably don’t get the jokes anyway ya unoriginal lemming.
Hardcore lullaby!
This baby kicks ass!! I really need to film my kid doing shit and toss it up on YouTube.
Who knew?!?!?!
Gingers Do Have Souls – Watch more Funny Videos
Being a South Park fan you know I must believe everything I see on that cartoon, so I never knew gingers had souls?!? Who the fuck knew? Oh well don’t take my word for it, take this black ginger kids word for it. He would know best. Though being a soulless ginger I’m sure he would have no issues lying to us.
Explain this to me please……..
Well I’ll admit that being 37 now I may not be as “hip” as I once was. Guess it comes with getting older, you get out of touch, you don’t know the new bands, clothing, lingo etc. Case in point I used the word hip to start off this post. All that aside someone around college age or a little older and thinking about going back please tell me if this commercial speaks to you? Since you are the target market for this shit I need to know if you watch this and say “cool I have to check that out” or do you just do what I do and throw the nearest thing at the TV and scream “SHUT UP!!”.
So post up and tell me what you think because I really hate this commercial and I know it can’t be because I’m getting older but if that is the reason, I need to tell you kids your generation blows!!
Pat Robertson should be a history teacher…
Wow this almost had me speechless…. Almost I said. This has to be one of the douchiest things I have ever heard. This guy really has a grasp on world history. I think I remember reading about this somewhere….. Oh wait I didn’t because it’s made up psycho babble. Guess good old Pat is scared of that Haitian Voodoo or something, but really Pat? Made a deal with the Devil? Why the hell is this fucktard even on TV. Who follows this stuff and believes this shit? Not only that, but check out that bimbo in the video, she is nodding her head in agreement with him? Who the hell are these people? If you follow this guy and believe this shit please leave this site RIGHT NOW! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking Christianity or being religious and following God and believing in good and evil, those things are your right and your freedom. But can we knock off the fairy tale stories and show a little respect for once. Taking a tragic moment like this and using it to push your religious agenda is just beyond low. Hey Pat doesn’t your God teach compassion? You should try it on for size and see how it fits, dick!
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