Before I begin this post let me tell you that there is going to be a lot of info, links and stuff like that. I’m working on creating an eStore where all this stuff will be listed and easily accessed. You will be able to choose from packages and individual items. I know right now it’s going to be all over the place but I’m seriously thinking of shutting down Winky for a while and building a health site. For now just bare with me as I just post this as a normal WF blog post!! And thanks reading!!

So now that you read my post and hopefully bought and mastered the book The 4-Hour Body and you’re sitting there feeling pretty good about the direction of your new life, I know what you are thinking…….

So now what??

Now hopefully you’ve been feeling better, getting in the swing of and thinking “How can I keep this machine going?” Well buckle up bitches because this is going to be a LONG post…..

Well what was my next step in this evolution?? Green smoothies (or shakes). Listen, this is NOT JUICING (that will come in a later post) this is a monster green shake making in a blender. Don’t go getting all excited either, this is not about making yummy morning smoothies, fruit smoothies, and things that taste good! This is a balls to the wall, kick your ass, power smoothie. I look at this as more of a meal replacement. I actually hate saying that because by the end of this you’ll be challeged to find a meal that will give you this much bang!! Believe me, this isn’t your little hippy green kale smoothy. This is where we separate the boys and girls from the ladies and the men. This is taking it to the next level! You don’t have to be a pro athlete, gym rat, or hardcore psycho, hell, you don’t even have to be at your goal weight yet. What I do suggest personally is you ease in to this though. Some of the things listed below may not follow along with the 4HB (4-Hour Body) book you’ve learned so far. So I suggest that you really are at a point where your diet is under control, you have been getting healthier and are on a positive track before you start doing this….. That being said though, you really can start at any time you want. There is NOTHING bad about this stuff. It’s all good and a plus to any diet. I’m only suggesting you wait if you are just starting out, trying to reach a goal and following some specific diet plan like 4HB or something. If you are you know that even little changed can have big impacts and I don’t want you getting discouraged if this doesn’t work right away. But again this is all good info for ANYONE!!

Before I get to far ahead of myself I’m going to answer one simple, yet OFTEN asked question: “Does it taste good?”. Let me answer that as simple as I can, FUCK NO!! I’m not going to sit here and pretend these taste great. You’re probably going to hate them. If you are like me, before you started this journey you ate stuff because it taste good, actually it tasted GREAT!! I’m not going to say that I don’t miss Five Guys, Oreos, and not going to try to tell you that an apple tastes better then a hot fudge sunday. You will know that’s bullshit. Now if you are following 4HB you know that you don’t have to give that up. And I’ll let you in on a little secret……… Once you reach your goal you can cheat more then 1 day a week. You don’t have to be so restrictive. We have come a long way, listen to our bodies and when we “cheat” we can easily bounce back and get back on track. So yeah, you had Five Guys on Friday, a half a cheat day on Saturday and by Sunday your body will beg for clean food and beans, trust me, it happens. Ok to get back on track, these things suck at first. So bad that I didn’t think I would ever make it again. It took me a while to tweak them, change them, acquire a taste for them and yeah, believe it or not I actually do enjoy them and crave them. You WILL get there if you want to. This takes more willpower then stopping junk food, trust me. They can be kind of vile at first. Tastes like a milk shake made from grass, leaves, sand and sludge. You’re going to think I’m crazy the first time you try to muscle one down…. Ok maybe I’m being a little dramatic but they are pretty “shocking” when you first try them. I’m just being honest. No one ever said “Holy shit this is GREAT!!!” the first time. We ALL went through this phase. All I can say is stick with it!!!! One day you’ll actually be sitting there and you’ll say to yourself “I want a green shake!”. This is because the benefits to your body and how it makes you feel are second to none!

First you’re going to need some tools. I will suggest a few but anything similar will do. If you have any questions feel free to hit the comment section below and I’ll gladly reply.

The Blenders

First off you’re going to need a blender.

Now if money is no object this bad boy is the BEST you can get.

Vitamix 1829 Pro 300 from AMAZON.com

This is the cream of the crop! Second to none. I had some leftover Xmas and birthday money so I went all out. Plus got a pretty sweet deal on eBay. This is blender to end all blenders. It will destroy veggies, fruits, nuts, ice, rocks, small children, anything you shove in this thing will get liquified. But you pay a steep price for it. Over $500 for this beast. It’s not inexpensive at all. But if you are serious about your kitchen gadgets, blending and want the best then look no further. Next down the line would be the Blendtec Total Blender at about half the price. Again another GREAT blender. But take it from an ODC moron with ADHD who studied for HOURS for DAYS compairing them and the Vitamix OWNS the Blendtec. You can’t go wrong with either one though. Both have advantages and very little disadvantages. The Blendtec is a beast and if you can afford it please get it and don’t think “crap I didn’t have enough for a Vitamix so had to settle” there is no settling with either of these.

Next in line and a little more resonable in price is the Breville Ikon Hemisphere LCD

Breville RM-BBL600XL from Amazon.com

You can find this one all over the net for pretty reasonable. The link above is for a refurb one and only $130. It’s still not a $40 Target blender but this thing is a little beast. I had it before the Vitamix. I stand behind this one as well. The bottom blade mount is a little wonky putting together but other then that it’s pretty AWESOME. It also makes a GREAT margarita. It destroys ice! Makes a great green smoothie and for the money I’d put it up against most other blenders. My family had it for years before I got it as a hand-me-down and it was rock solid. If I never used a Vitamix I would have been happy with this one till the motor burnt out. I used it daily for weeks and never had a single issue with it. Just be warned like I said, removing the bottom blade and putting it back on can be kind of a bitch, and if you don’t do it right you will get some leaking. The way around that…. Secure the blade and never remove it. It can be easily cleaned with the blade in place. After a week of use I checked the seal to make sure it wasn’t funky and it was perfectly fine. So it’s not something you have to remove each and every time. Hell after that I never removed the damn thing.

I know that $130 is expensive for some people so don’t worry you CAN make shakes with a $40 Target blender. You don’t need any of the listed above. What I suggest is you use lots of water (which I do anyway, more on that later as well) and blend it longer!!!! DON’T overstuff your blender. You will make green sludge and that sucks! It will be chunky, pulpy and will just suck!!! Also pre cut your stuff in smaller chunks. Yeah it’s kind of a bitch but you will thank me in the long run for taking an extra 5 mins to prep your veggies. I am finding an inexpensive blender to borrow and will be doing a write up on how to make great green shakes with it. I will post that up. So if you’ve got a little bummed out because you are thinking “shit Aaron, I can’t afford a new blender and already have a cheap one” fret not! I got your back.

Ok, now that we got the blenders out of the way what else do we need for equipment? NOTHING!!! Yup that’s it. It’s shake time. This isn’t cooking school, juicing, grilling, or any of that stuff. This is tossing a bunch of stuff in a blender, pushing a button and having a drink. Pretty damn simple.

So what do we put in them?

Here is where the FUN begins. Lets start with a list of veggies shall we? Along with SOME of the key points of why they are listed. There are more benifits then listed but here are the bullet points.

1. Kale: Detoxification, vitamin A, C, K, Omega-3 fatty acids aids as an anti-inflamatory, controls blood sugar levels and strengthens your immune system
2. Spinach: Vitamin K and E, and both lutein and zeaxanthin which are great antioxidants and helps fight off cataracts
3. Garlic: Boosts immune system, anti-infection, cancer fighter, fights inflammation, detoxification and bacteria fighter
4. Ginger: SO MANY!!!! Digestion, inflammation, anticoagulant, helps fight colds, cough, pain killer, PMS, morning sickness, heart health, arthritis, and so on…..
5. Celery: vitamins K, B1, B2, B6 and C with rich supplies of potassium, folic acid, calcium, magnesium, iron, phosphorus, sodium and plenty essential amino acids, electrolytes, minerals.
6. Cucumber: Aids in digestion, reduces cholestrol and controls blood pressure, vitamin A, B1, B6, C & D, Folate, Calcium, Magnesium, and Potassium, Hydration
7. Parsley: Anti-cancer, Anti-inflammatory, Vitmin A, and K, Antioxidants and more Vitamin C then fruits!

See, I’m not messing around here! This in itself would be enough wouldn’t it? There is a method to my madness. I just don’t toss random stuff in this shake. Remember this is “some next level shit”. We are about to BLAST your body with EVERYTHING it needs. To answer another question “Do you drink this every day?”, Nope, but I usually have one of these 3+ times a week. If I was an athlete this would be a staple and YES I would have it every day. Remember, I said this is a meal replacement shake. Not only is it a meal replacement but this bad boy will fill you up from snacks too. I can have one in the afternoon and not even be remotely hungry till dinner.

So what do we add to them?

Here’s where it gets fun, and a little bit crazy!!

Manitoba Harvest Shelled Hemp Hearts

Why hemp seeds? Because they are AWESOME for you! Loaded with Magnesium, Manganese, Phosphorus, Thiamin, Vitamin E, and a balanced three to one ratio of Omega 3 and 6, all 20 amino acids, and about 10g of easily digested protein per serving. Damn super food I tell ya!! For a little more money you can go organic. The package says 8 servings but I always get a lot more then that. These are also great to sprinkle on salads, on sautéed spinach, yogurt, and anything you want to add a little crunch and nutty flavor. They have a very similar taste to sunflower seeds but small little seeds. And no morons there is no THC in here.

Flora Udo’s Choice High Lignan Oil

This stuff helps maintain the body’s normal hormone levels, support the immune system, and maintain healthy blood sugar levels. Has an ideal 2:1:1 ratio of unrefined Omega Fatty Acids. Yeah we are blasting your body with Omegas!!

Pumpkin Seeds

High in protein, helps maintain blood sugar levels (which helps in weight loss btw), helps promote serotonin and high in zinc. So yeah we are going to add some of that as well!

 Navitas Naturals Maca Powder

I know right? WTF is Maca powder?!?! First off I’m going to tell you that the smell is a bit off putting. Very musty/malty smelling. It can overpower some foods but with this shake don’t worry it will not change a thing! So what is Maca root? This stuff is MAGIC! Where to start. Lets see:

1. quick supply of energy
2. increase of endurance
3. alleviation of chronic fatigue
4. increase of fertility
5. relieve of menstrual symptoms
6. regulation of hormone balance
7. reduce stress
8. treatment of anemia
9. help with wound healing
10. improvement of memory
11. an antioxidant
12. increase in muscle mass
13. increased libido
14. maintain sexual desire and performance
15. stimulates the endocrine system
16. reduce the size of prostate
17. helps prevent symptoms of menopause
18. relieve PMS and in some cases even prevent it

Holy crap right! How come you’ve never heard of this before right? Well now you have. So lets toss some of that in there as well!

So how do we make it?

This is pretty simple. Lets talk about the added stuff. Pretty easy. 1 (one) suggested serving per item. So for example, hemp hearts would be about 3 tablespoons worth. Whatever brand you get I would just follow the serving info and use that amount. The veggies I will list below for my average shake. You can tweak this anyway you want. Remember this will create a few BIG glasses of this shake but since I have mine with a lot of water I find it easier to drink 2 or 3 pint+ glasses of liquid then 1 pint of sludge. Again this isn’t exact and you may have to experiment with ratios to your liking

1. Maca Root, Udo’s oil, hemp hearts : 1 serving each
2. Pumpkin seeds: small handful. If I had to guess I’d say about 3 tablespoons
3. Kale: 2 to 3 big leaves
4. Cucumber: PEELED (always peel your cucumbers and look for the DARKEST green ones!) about a half cucumber
5. Celery: About 2 stalks (ribs)
6. Spinach: a nice big handfull
7. Parsley: again, a good handful
8. Garlic: 1 to 2 cloves depending on size. I like mine VERY garlicy so often add more, but that’s just me
9. Ginger: anywhere from 1/4 to 1/2 inch piece. This (as well as garlic) is VERY strong so use your best judgement to your individual tastes.

Put this all in your blender and fill anywhere between 1/2 way to covered with water and blend the shit out if it. For me this will make about 48+oz. This all depends on your blender, how big your handfuls are, how much of each you use, how much water you use etc. Honestly there is no right or wrong way to make one of these. This is just my directions for the ultimate green shake. If you have a smaller wonky blender you may have to do this in stages. Might have to really work around your equipment. I will be doing an inexpensive blender post soon and will help guide you on how to make one of these. If you make one and find a great way to do it, please feel free to comment below and help people out.

It’s not that bad tasting either. I was being a bit overly dramatic. It’s not delicious but it doesn’t suck. Hopefully you are willing to expand your health and try new things. You’ve realized at this point some things just need a little getting use to. This is one of those things. I mean what I say though, the benefits FAR outweigh the taste. After a while you really will crave these. Hell, I’m about to go make one right now! Gotta run!

So there you have it. Your epic green shake.

Ok, lets get one thing straight. STOP calling a change in your eating habits a diet. You ALREADY are on a diet. Don’t believe me? Been hammered with the hype marketing phrase of a “diet” for too long and don’t even recognize the definition of a single word anymore? Let me refresh your memory…..

di·et
/ˈdī-it/
Noun
The kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats.

So let’s stop with marketing semantics and stop calling this change a diet. I’m not “ON a diet” anymore then you are “NOT ON a diet”. We are already on a damn “diet” since the day we started suckling at our mothers teat. What you eat daily is part of your diet.

Now lets let that sink in for a moment. I’ll wait here…..

Good hopefully you really thought about the word and not just read that quickly and if you are smart enough you are starting to see where this is going. If not (because we know most of you are morons) I’m going to explain and beat the fuck out of a dead horse by the time this post is over.

Why does this bug me so much you ask? Because the word diet in it’s popular use to me sounds like a test or something temporary or with all the info out there something that everyone does from time to time and often fails. What I want people to start doing is to start rethinking this. That’s a fuck load of pressure. So you hear this word “diet” and everyone things of the times they have tried and failed. The “diet” pills, the fad “diets”, the “diet” drinks, the “diet” shakes and so on and so on. It’s just bullshit used to make you spend money. Often setting you up for massive failure before you even start. “Hey! How’s the new “diet” coming?” “So tell me about this “diet” you’re on”, “I can’t do that “diet” it’s too restrictive” “How long are you going to be on this “diet”?”, and so on and so on. With the way we look at the word diet this sucks!!!

Now lets replace the popular definition of the word diet with the one it actually is. DIET: “the fuckin food you eat daily to survive“. You can’t start something you are already doing. You can’t fail at a diet. If you did you would starve and be dead. Just like you can’t fail at breathing, or sleeping. Eventually you do it because you HAVE TO! So what am I doing since I’m not “on a diet”. Simple: I changed my diet…… Quiz time, have you been taking notes? What does that mean in the brain of Aaron? It means “I change some of the food I eat”.

For the people who are a little slow out there let me make this VERY simple for you… DIET = FOOD.

Don’t go on a diet and really you can’t anyway since you are already on one. Stop adding so much pressure to yourself and labeling what it is you are doing. Yes I know I’m guilty of it. In one of these last few posts I mentioned “plant based diet” but again it’s not a DIET in the terms Mens Health wants me to believe it is. So what should you do since I’m suggesting you DO NOT GO ON A DIET??? I suggest you make changes to your current shitty intake of food (diet). If your “diet” consists of fast food 3x a week, knock it back to 2x a week. Is that a diet? No. If you don’t get enough veggies add some. Again is that a diet? No. Maybe replace the beef you eat every night with some chicken or fish a couple times a week. Again diet? Nope it’s just food.

It’s hard to explain semantics of words that have been turned around on us by marketing, media, popular culture and what not. What I eat every day is my diet. Regardless of what that food consists of. Five Guys burgers or a salad it’s all part of my diet. A diet I’ve been on for 40 years. So for the love of all that is good in this world stop calling it a diet the way that’s been hammered in to our skulls. Start making this as simple as possible and EAT food!!! The only difference between you and me at this point is your “diet” sucks and my “diet” is a little better. But I’m NOT doing anything you currently aren’t already doing

If you haven’t read Part 1 yet please do. It’s located HERE

So what did I do? I read, and read and read. I listened to podcast after podcast. Along with my brothers we started an iMessage thread for accountability. We all were on this journey together. Which was a huge help!! Texting daily our meals, our current weight, our struggles, etc. Believe it or not this REALLY helped.

Ok I know, I know, you all want to know what my secret was. It was pretty damn simple. I basically followed the slow carb diet. But I didn’t look at it like a diet. I looked at it like a change of life. I cut out grains, fruits, sugars and dairy. My diet consisted of beans (lots of them), fresh veggies and an protein (fish, beef or chicken). From there I started making little tweaks to the quality of foods. Going towards organic veggies, local produce, grass fed beef. farm raised eggs and so on. I would eat like this for 6 days straight. On the 7th day I could eat anything I wanted. Actually this 4 Hour Body diet encourages a “cheat day”. An all out war day with food. Eat and destroy anything you want and as much as you want. Fuck yeah!!! Five Guys here I come! Mac and Cheese pizza bitch slap! It was awesome. I only needed to hold out for 6 days!!! Then I was on a mission to stuff the hell out of myself. And that I did.

Now you may have had an alcohol hangover before and I can tell you that a food hangover is just the same! The day after cheat day sucked!! By the end of cheat day I was begging for veggies and beans.

I started using Kettlebells the first two weeks. Worked out maybe 4 or 5 times in the beginning. But honestly I stopped. I had a short term goal in mind. Get back to between 170-175 before you start worrying about bodyfat, working out, calories, protein intakes, cardio, muscle building etc. All that is too much to focus on. “Get the diet second nature before you take on too much” so that I did. I jumped in feet first with the diet and ONLY the diet.

A few weeks in I started looking in to supplements. I got a good multivitamin, some fish oil supplements and something called PAGG. More on that in another post. But that’s basically it. I started with protein shakes in the beginning because of the myth we all hear about “to be strong and in shape you need protein” again I’m not working out yet and I get PLENTY daily with my meats, veggies, almonds and beans. I don’t need more. Though I still use them for a meal on the go if I have to but very rarely. I honestly think they are a waste of money.

Now I can’t say that this is where I’m staying either. Now that I’ve reached my goal things are ever evolving and changing. I’ve started adding green shakes and juices to my diet. I’ve slowly have been cutting down on the animal products and am seriously thinking of going 100% plant based. I will NEVER call myself a vegan. Fuck being a vegan. Oreos are vegan for fuck sake. I could eat a pack of Oreos each and every day and nothing else and call myself a vegan. I could eat processed fake tofu bacon and meats that probably have more junk in them then a real slice of bacon. To me that’s bullshit. If I want to up my intake of fake meats and sodium I’ll just go to McDonalds. They have plenty of fake meat there. To me that isn’t healthy.

The reason I bring that up is because I’m T-minus a few days from my plant based cleanse. Will I stick with it? Who the fuck knows. I really love my smoker and my ribs!! But will I knock it out for a few weeks. Hell yeah I will. I am excited to blog about it and see what happens.

So there you have it, you are all basically up to speed. Feel free to post questions or whatever. I’m always around to help or talk. Just ask the people on Facebook /adhirsch or Twitter and Instagram sn0wcrash (that’s a zero) Feel free to follow or friend me if you want.

So why am I posting this picture like a douche? Well because my journey has already begun. I really wish I remembered how much I like to share and post stuff up but with Twitter, Instagram and Facebook I forgot about my blog.

Now let me get you up to speed. This book:

The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming Superhuman

Started it all off. I was turned on to this by The Joe Rogan Podcast and my brother Tony. It’s a great book. Tim Ferriss knows his shit. He is a little hard to take sometimes and is all over the place like an ADHD child who just smoked a little too much crack. Once you get beyond that he really is pretty awesome. Example of how he is all over the place. His new book The 4-Hour Chef probably has over 70 pages before he even talks about food. Great Tim we get it, you mastered the 3 point basketball shot but can you teach about cooking and not the process of learning. Not knocking he guy, it’s his style. Some people love him, some hate him. I personally think he is great and often overlook the stuff I’m knocking him for.

Another book that helped change my life was Finding Ultra by Rich Roll

Finding Ultra: Rejecting Middle Age, Becoming One of the World’s Fittest Men, and Discovering Myself

Now let me back up a little bit, like Rich Roll I had that cliche epiphany moment. My quick back story. Growing up I was always very athletic. Pee-Wee Soccer, YMCA basketball, Little League Baseball, High School Foodball, snowboarder, skateboarder, trick bikes, BMX bikes and even a little stint in the Army National Guard in my early 20s. I rock solid 170 wit prob +/- 12% bodyfat when I got back from Basic and AIT. With being this way and a rock solid metabolism I could eat anything anywhere anytime I wanted!!! Then I grew up….

Married, working as a Network Engineer a cubicle, had a son, bills, etc. No time for skateboarding or snowboarding anymore. Drinking Mountain Dew like my life depended on it. Eating anything that was fast and/or from a box. My idea of healthy was anything that might have had green as a garnish.

Now fast forward to the last summer in my 30s! Diagnosed with extreme ADHD a few years ago, divorced, bad relationships, depression, the tech world crumbled under me, bad jobs, bad life choices, smoking 2 packs of smokes a day, and if I didn’t know better I would have thought I was trying to kill myself with food. Put it this way, a new Five Guys opened up about 15 mins away from my house and in 2 months I checked in via FourSquare almost 50 times! Sometimes going twice a day. I was eating fast food and takeout 7 days a week. I would only cook the one or two nights my son and I wanted to stay home and cook. From the outside everything looked ok. But slowly from my mid 20s to my late 30s the pounds came on. First 5, then 10, then 15 then 20 and so on.

Now it wasn’t all bad. Things were getting better and the last summer of my 30s was a great one!! Finally getting my work niche going (pretty funny it’s for a food company), relationship with my son and his mom is rock solid and got over my relationship issues. And then I got a new car!! So what does that mean? Road trip to Florida with my son and to visit some family as well as spend a few days at Universal. It was a blast. Road trip, road foods, pictures……. Oh the pictures. That’s what did it. It’s the end of August and the trip is behind us and I am reliving the trip via the pictures. I had that cliche moment you hear when you look in the mirror and say “Who the fuck are you?!?!?!” “What are you doing?!?!” “You’re almost 40!!!”. Though my mirror was the pictures from the trip.

I was up to a solid 205 pounds! Now I know some of you are saying “Aaron, 205 isn’t bad, you still look great, you hold it well” or some shit like that. But inside I was dead and I felt it. I was fortunate enough to be born with a superhuman metabolism. On paper I should be dead or easily 250+ lbs. I use to watch “The Biggest Loser” and laugh because I would eat way worse then those people. While watching one night I once traveled 40 mins for a blueberry pie because their “temptation challenge” was about cake and pie. All these fat people crying about cake and pie made me think “Fuck yes blueberry pie is awesome! You’re right” so I paused the show, got the pie (with some ice cream) and proceeded to eat half if it while watching the show.

So yeah 205 my heaviest. I once had a little stint at 202 when my ex-wife and I lived in Florida but quickly dropped down to my average walking around weight of 198+/- That’s where I stayed from my late 20s until recently.

Well what did I do? Did I hit the gym like a maniac and run 15 miles a day, lifting weights all night, drinking tons of shakes and taking a ton of pills? Nope not even close (well the pills but we will get in to that a little later).

Now since this post is getting pretty fucking long I’m going to post it and make new one on what I’ve actually done up till today! There is a lot of info so don’t want to overwhelm the 3 people who actually read this!!! No worries, I’m writing it right now so you will not have to wait long to get caught up.

To be continued…….

Part 2 http://www.winkyface.com/2012/12/29/let-me-get-you-up-to-speed-part-2/

I’m adding a section for health. I am on a journey and going to blog about it. Now if you just want to link to the health section it’s right there! See next to the word “Home” on the top menu where it says “health” thats where the posts will be. For a quick link or bookmark it’s here:

http://www.winkyface.com/category/health/

This where I will be posting a TON of info on this trek. Some of you will be surprised at the changes I’ve made, others will think I’m bat shit crazy and others will not give a shit at all. Anyway this is what I’m doing so thought I’d update the 3 people who still check out my blog.

If you are already lining up or thinking of skipping out of Thanksgiving early let me give you some advice.

Do it.

Not only will you be the first to die in the Apocalypse but more importantly you’re a materialistic douchebag and will realize at the end of your life that you gave up quality time with your friends and family to save $20 on a TV or to get a free DVD player.

When you are old, sick, dying and alone surrounded by your crappy TV, piles of old DVDs, outdated game consoles you’ll realize that the % of time with your loved ones you gave up for the % of money you saves wasn’t worth it.

And I will laugh at you with my family as we tell stories of holidays past, smiling at my child as I drift off at the end of my full life of friends, family and the ones I love around me.

Enjoy sitting in that line douchebag!

I’m the first one to call out bad parenting. Nothing sets me off then a set of shitty parents, but as always that’s too easy to pick on and you know I look at stuff totally different. This is a message for the good parents.

Ok I’m a dad. A weekend dad. Yes I have a HUGE influence in my sons life but most of the credit has to go to his mom. I do what I can and would like to take credit but I know how hard she busts her ass raising our son and the struggles she goes through. That being said we got a real good one. My son is pretty fuckin awesome. You all know me, if he was a douchebag I would totally call him out on it, but thankfully he isn’t.

So here it is, some kids are just broken. Yup broken. Nothing you can do, you got a bad one and there is nothing you can do. Yes, to all you future parents, sometimes no matter what the fuck you do, your kid is going to be busted.

Like a lot of you I’m sure you have friends, family etc who are parents. Some of them are probably some of the greatest parents you’ve encountered but their kids are still douchebags right?

Where here is where I’m going to let some of the parents off the hook. But before I do, all you scumbag parents (you know who you are) with fucked up kids. It’s totally your fault. This is for the good parents.

Sometimes your kids are just broken. Thats it. End of story. Doesn’t matter what you do, doesn’t matter how many books you read your kid is going to be a douche. Rumor has it Jeffrey Dahmer’s mom was a great mom, and we all know how that turned out. How many of us know families where the daughter is a stripper meth head and the brother is a lawyer or the brother has been in and out of jail his whole life and his other brother is a successful business man. Same parents, same upbringing but one is totally broken and the other was a good one.

Not to scare off all you would be parents out there but think about it. You can’t return these things. There is no kid pound, well kinda but really are you going to keep tossing em in an orphanage until you get a good one? You might not realize it till they are 17 and then it will be too late and you’re fucked. So now you have this busted one, can’t return it and no matter what you do he/she is broken.

You have may got lucky with your first one too, maybe even your second one and are sitting there thinking “Aaron I’ve had two and they are great!!!!” Great, good for you. I’ve had a bunch of cars and luckily none I have ever had got a recall for anything major or was a lemon. Yeah we have all heard of the friend who bought an $80,000 Range Rover and the thing has been in the shop more times then not. Yup you got a bad one. Same factory, same model and even the same damn color as your friends but he beeps at you every fuckin day as he drives to work and you are waiting for the bus. Yup same happens with kids. Same factory, same color (depending) same parents (hopefully) but one came out and should have been recalled.

I’m lucky and I know it. I give my ex a ton of credit and not taking anything away from good parents. You all are great and thanks for not raising a bunch of douchebags. But to the good parents who got busted up ones, I want to let you know that I feel your pain, since in my family I think I was the broken one, and I understand. Keep your chin up and keep dealing with what you got dealt, it’s not always your fault you got a broken one.

Earlier today a friend reminded me about this video and not sure if it ever got posted on WF before.

This Summer’s Eve promo is fuckin AWESOME!!!

Enjoy

Watching this last night and I was cracking up at how many orders he barked at his daughter so I thought I would take this scene from Taken 2 and give it to you with all the boring parts taking out.

Why?

Because nothing says action more then a Jedi barking orders at you the whole time!

We’re back morons! That’s right. Back from the dead. I took a long time off (yeah again) and now back to do some writing.

I realized that Facebook sucks but it sucked me in to it’s big shitty big bag of suck. Ranting on there makes me look like I’m outta my mind. Ranting here just makes me look like an angry cynical douchebag.

So I’m coming back.

Posts will be random, no set schedules for now. I plan on just doing some quick entries (i.e. a little FB rant style one) here and there to keep some things flowing. I plan on not even using FB now for anything other then to get shit to make fun of. Any time I get the urge to post something I just will write it here no matter how long or short.

Anyway, I’m back morons……