WILL YOU PLEASE FUCK OFF?
by Robert MacLean

This book contains 3 novellas and 2 short stories – review will be broken into a few mini reviews – PART 2

CERTAINLY SOMETHING
If i can stop laughing long enough,i may be able to write this review.Picture a bus full of international tourists on a tour of Greece.All the passengers are totally fucked up. From the part time porn queen to the suspected terrorist to the bratty reckless unsupervised kid to the goofy spastic romance seeker. Clown bus anyone? However, the tour guide on this magical mystery tour is, with out a doubt, the highlight of this novella.His comments as the bus characters expose themselves are hilarious. Having to interact with them throughout the tour sets up one funny situation after another.And our guide really doesn’t enjoy the job to begin with. His comments and observations are priceless. I found myself giggling from beginning to end and i strongly recommend this book. What a pleasure to be entertained as the pages fly by.

As some of you know I’m a hardcore geek. I love comic books, video games and all nerdy things. Needless to say I was kind of looking forward to the Spider-Man reboot.

The main bad dude in this movie is “The Lizard” and here is a pic from a costume shop online from the upcoming movie. I know it’s only a shitty costume but totally not impressed. If you put a point on his head, blacken the eyes it looks like a fuckin Sleestak.

I don’t know maybe I’m just getting older so I’m not impressed with Hollywood anymore. Now that the comic book hero thing has been done a million times over and over again it just doesn’t have that “Holy fuck this is going to be awesome!” feeling anymore. I’ve seen renditions of Spiderman, Batman, Hulk, Thor and the rest of em so many times now that it just doesn’t have that same excitement anymore. I mean I can’t be the only one who is getting bored right? I admit the first time I watched a CG Spider-Man swinging around NYC I thought it was pretty badass. As well as a modern day Hulk transformation and Batman kicking ass in Gotham. But how many times and I suppose to get excited about a costume/actor change when I have seen it all on the big screen before? It’s the same movies over and over again. Can we move on from the re-boots and re-telling of the origins stories. Seriously, if the world doesn’t know that superman came down from another planet yet fuck em. We don’t need a reboot every 5-10 years. We all grew up knowing these back stories and want to see our heroes kicking ass and taking names. We are tired of seeing Spiderman getting bit by a spider and “learning how to live with his new powers” we get it already. Same goes for Superman, Batman, Hulk, and the lot of em. Lets just pick this shit up about 5+ years in to the story line and start fuckin shit up.

Fuck it right, anything is better than that dancing emo Spider-Man we got in the last movie right??

To those of you that keeping telling me “It’s just a game.” Fuck off! You are the worst kind of person. You are not a just bandwagon fan but a bandwagon person! You know nothing about sports. You’re not fooling anyone asshole. You’re the guy who says “Our team just scored.” Or “Our guy just caught a pass.” Because, besides the Quarterbacks, you couldn’t name 5 other players on either team. You go to the Super bowl parties so you can tell the guy in the cubical next to you did, when you really only watched the game for the fucking commercials! You are a lemming, blindly following others because it’s cool and you’re not and everyone is doing it. I bet if I told you Dungeons and Dragons was just a game you would have the same reaction that I’m having right now you fucking loser! You never played sports because you had no athletic ability. You were always picked last for that reason and still have deep rooted psychological problems that you need to have worked out by a professional because of that.

So in the spirit of the commercials you watched last night…”Here’s to you, “Pretend to be interested in the Super bowl, but you’re really interested in Mark from the mailroom! “ FUCK YOU!!!! I have no use for you fucking mindless sheep!

Angry Guy

WILL YOU PLEASE FUCK OFF?
by Robert MacLean

This book contains 3 novellas and 2 short stories – review will be broken up into
a few mini-reviews- PART 1

THE FAT GIRLS CONTEST
What a side splitting short story. The title says it all. The ‘boys’ decide to have a party exclusively to be attended by large ladies.The larger the better. Along with the planning and the money pool, each and every line of the humorous short story will bring tears to the readers eyes.The characters,both the males and females, are as whimsical as any in fiction.Of course the party is planned and thats when the laughs are non-stop.This is NOT a sexist story about some juvenile boys making light of fat girls.This is a fun read that should not be missed.Guess who pays the price at party/story end?

ATTACK of the GIANT FEMINISTS
This short story is one continuous erotic fantasy. Loaded with sexual visions we are taken to a place where the writer has visited in one of his many whiskey induced nightmares. The ‘giants’ are funny and scary and wildly erotic.This story is very short, however, all that is needed to be written is well written.When ones mind is stimulated to such a degree , i consider this a great read.

HoserIN

That’s right HoserIN is the first Official WinkyFace Fan winner!! He has been posting longer then most of you morons, his comment count is right up there with my post count and he is one funny prick.

He won an official WinkyFace.com T-shirt:

Don’t forget there is another contest for February going on right now!!! Check the link, follow the instructions and good luck morons!

Thanks again HoserIN for all the support!

Yeah I know, I’ve been away for a bit but shit happens. While most of you don’t give a fuck about someone telling me how AWESOME I am, I do, and since it’s my site this is what I’m going to post as my first post in a bit.

Anyway, while I was away I got this twitter message:

@winkieface: Hello! How are you? I just want to thank you and your site http://www.WinkyFace.com for the inspiration you have given me to launch my own blogging site, too! I always dreamed of having my own site since I love to write, but I have no idea how, when, and where to start. Thanks to your site, it helps me a lot.

Honestly, I have no idea who you are until I started reading your blogs regularly early last year. It was filled with so much fun and very entertaining. You have no idea, but it’s my new addiction.

And by the way, I also have no idea why you are calling yourself a douche? I think, you are not. Yes, we, your followers are all morons. But you as the douche? No! You are not. Just simply call yourself a genius douche instead, ok? Because you used your ADHD in such a good way, and you inspired many for that. Keep up the good work. Many people are willing to support you.

Well, thank you so much for finding a little time to read my message. More power to you and to your site. Have a nice day.

NOTE: I mentioned your site on my about page: http://mylifein24hours.wordpress.com/. Please let me know if you don’t like it to be there and I will remove it immediately. Thank you so much!

Thought this was kind of cool. If you are looking for the WinkyFace mention it’s on the About Page of that site. Glad to be an inspiration and keep up the writing! Thanks for checking out the site.

And the rest of you morons make sure you check out that site. Writing a blog is a thankless job most of the time and head over there and show a little support to a WinkyFace fan!

We need to get rid of the term “Warrior” in sports! If I hear another sportscaster call a professional athlete a WARRIOR I’m going to go postal! Because there is nothing more unlike a warrior than a multimillion dollar athlete playing with a fucking boo boo! Are you fucking kidding me! The warriors are across the ocean in Afghanistan and Iraq fighting terrorists and getting shot at every day! Think about this, a football player is playing with a bad hammy compared to a solider that is dodging enemy fire to drag a wounded soldier to safety. No fucking contest! The men and women of our armed forces are WARRIORS period! The only athletes that should be allowed to call themselves warriors are Gladiators! Those mother fuckers WERE warriors. Think about this, an athlete hurts his legs and goes out of the game. If a solider is shot in the leg do you think he can just call time out and walk out of the battlefield and sit on a bench? NO FUCKING WAY! They battle on like the true warriors they are risking their lives every second of the day. All of these prima donna athletes get to play these games and make all their money because of the true warriors that protect all of us and let them.

I have several friends that fought in both Gulf wars and Afghanistan and THANK FUCKING GOD they all made it back. One friend just re-enlisted for 3 more years. Kind of like an athlete signing a contract extension. NOT!!

So the next time you’re out and about and see a man or woman in uniform thank them. The next time you’re at a bar and hear someone call an athlete a warrior you need to finish your beer (Never waste beer, MAN RULE # 3) flip it upside down and smash the bottle across the face of the fucking moron that said it! Then call them a warrior as they are helped into the ambulance. Thank you to all our men and woman in our armed forces we all owe more than even we know. THANKS !

Angry Guy :X

Since I know a lot of you have found me because you are Aero fans (and prob follow my mom and stepdad), I wanted to give you a heads up. Joe’s twitter handle is now @JoePerry and his account is VERIFIED!!! We all know there are a LOT of fakes out there on the internets so you can rest-asure that this is the REAL DEAL!!! It’s not me, a family member or some PR office, but Joe F’n Perry!!! Listen, most of you know who I am so I think I would know more than what you read in a forum or online somewhere.

Anyway thanks to everyone who worked hard to get his checkmark, securing the @JoePerry handle and making this happen!

If you don’t get it, you’re a moron!

Well that SOPA thing is creating quite the online pantie bunch.

Beginning at 12:00 A.M US Eastern Time on Wednesday, January 18 (that would be tonight you morons who don’t realize the day changes at midnight) sites like Wiki, Reddit, and a few others are going to go “dark” to protest against SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) and PIPA (the Protect Intellectual Property ACT).

“This is going to be wow. I hope Wikipedia will melt phone systems in Washington on Wednesday. Tell everyone you know,” tweeted Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales

Listen Jimmy I understand taking your site dark, totally do. Pretty awesome way to protest something you support if you ask me. Hell if I actually gave a shit I would even shut down Winky for 24 hours but not many people would actually even notice. (Fuck, maybe that’s a good way to get press. Maybe I’ll put out a press release today saying “Popular blog WinkyFace.com is joining the Anti-SOPA blackout”)

But the fuckin’ arrogance “this is going to be wow”?!?!?! Seriously? The world is going to be perfectly fine without Wiki for 24 hours. Personally I think once a month the WHOLE fuckin internet SHOULD shut down for 24 hours. It might help people who feel “they can’t survive” without their little Twitter, Facebook, Wiki, etc realize that the internet is a tool. A VERY useful tool but if you take it away the majority of people are going to be OK. Fuck they maybe even enjoy getting outside for a bit, sleeping like a normal person, reading a fuckin’ book, watching some TV, taking the family to a movie or whatever. But Jummy, get the fuck over yourself you arrogant little fuck.

Know what’s going to happen. People who know about this are going to go to Wiki (if they forget) and say “Oh yeah Wiki is down for 24 hours, oh well, I’ll come back later”. People who don’t know and are confused are going to be like “What the fuck, why is Wiki down” and someone will tell them and they will say “Oh, well that sucks, I guess I’ll just wait till tomorrow”. That’s about it. There is your “WOW factor”. Pretty intense huh?

Same goes for Reddit. It sucks if you are a fan of these sites and other popular sites which will be going dark but it’s not the end of the world. It’s a slight annoyance. That’s about it.

Now don’t sit there saying “But Aaron it’s the point, what if this bill passes and Wiki goes dark forever”. Ok, your point is?? Listen, my life was FINE before Wiki and will be fine AFTER Wiki. My life was fine BEFORE the internet and would be FINE after the internet. See unlike this current generation of bitchy little hipster pussies, we got by without the internet for a LONG fuckin’ time! Granted it would suck if the internet ever goes dark or gets hit with massive blackouts and censorship but it’s not the end of the fuckin world. Maybe, just maybe we need to pull back a little and realize that if we are relying on something so heavily in our daily life that there may be other issues. If you think you “could never live without the internet” maybe you need to reevaluate your life.

See there are things I CAN’T live without. Food, shelter, clothing, medicines and that’s about it. Everything else is a luxury. Cell phones, email, the internet, TV, radio, transportation, coffee, smokes, music, entertainment, and so on are great and make life pretty awesome but life will go on without those. They are NOT NEEDED for the survival of the human species. I think we are being a little over dramatic here. Just a bit.

Of course the more I read and research this whole SOPA thing I agree it sucks. Gives too much power to the wrong people, doesn’t get to the root of the problem and is a poorly written bill.

But if you REALLY want to make a stink about it, get Twitter, Facebook and Google to join you in going dark. And fuck the 24hours. Do it for a week, two weeks, how about a WHOLE month. The only problem is you risk people saying to themselves “Holy shit, I got so much stuff done this week now that these services are down I really don’t NEED to focus on Facebook so much during my normal day, it really is amazing how much of my life I have waisted just surfing away killing time doing basically nothing”. I’m telling you, this is why Twitter, Google and FB haven’t joined in this crusade. WAY too much money at risk.

Enjoy the blackout, and don’t worry as soon as Thursday get’s here, you’ll start feeling better, you’ll remember you don’t even believe in any of this fake crap, you’re in control of your own life. Remember. Have a cookie. I promise by the time you’re done with it, you’ll feel right as rain.

Wow, that’s quite the stance you’re taking there Google. Others shut down and you do what? A black box. Does anyone even notice when Google fucks with their logo anymore? If it’s Pac-Man, it’s snowing, if the letters are made out of bushes, or whatever silly thing they do with the logo anymore? Or do we just look at the search box, type what we want and move on. I think most of us didn’t even notice the black box today. Let along understand the meaning behind it. We are so programmed to ignore that damn Google logo it’s actually pretty stupid to make a “stance” with the logo you so often screw with.

Really does anyone else find this really silly. (well we know the guy from Twitter does) but seriously “we are going to “kinda” take a stance by making a cool little censored bar, but we can’t shut down for 24 hours because we would lose a sh!t ton of money!!”.

Really this whole blackout thing is pretty damn pointless.