Not only does this goofy looking Ciclotte exercise bike cost a crazy $10,700 but this moron lives on a lake. How about he spends $10,000 less and buy a real fucking bike and bike around that amazing lake. Wtf is wrong with people…..

Just like the picture above you are a dick… Oh wait is that a hot dog?? Anyway the hot dog is a dick. Anyone with overly confident self-esteem is a fuckin’ moron and anyone with low self-esteem is equally as stupid. I think as a society this whole self-esteem building movement is the number one crock-of-shit movement sitting right above the green/global warming movement. I would say that this self-esteem movement is doing more damage to ourselves then anything else currently. Well now that I think of it Political Correctness is probably up there too, but that’s another post all together. (and yes PC movement will be another post soon).

First off I’m going to start off by saying something to everyone out there reading this blog. You are NOT special. You are a dime a dozen and there are millions of people out there just like you. I don’t care of you found the cure for AIDS, you are still a moron.

Thankfully I am not a child of this generation. I had to work for my trophies, awards, and grades. I busted my ass and still failed. I learned an important lesson. I’m stupid and never going to be an astronaut. With that I also learned that nothing in this world is going to be given to me. If I want something I have to work hard. I learned that it’s great to kick the fuck out of another football team and at the end of the year be the best team in the league. It was AWESOME to throw it in the faces of the other teams. But ya know what, the next year those other teams were better, fought harder and overall preformed better. Now lets say “everyone gets a trophy”. What does that do to say a football league. Well the good players don’t try hard because they know they will get the trophy at the end of the year and the shitty players don’t strive to be better players because it doesn’t really matter. You stop people from working hard and being the best they can be. Why am I gonna show up for practice, bust my ass when I could be sitting here watching TV, show up for the games and at the end of the year get that awesome “just because I was here” trophy.

I know (and yes I have a child so don’t sit there and say “well you don’t have kids so you don’t know”) it’s not good for the child either. Fuck you and the books you have read and your daily affirmations. Your child isn’t that special either. He/She is a moron just like you. No you didn’t give birth to the next Tom Brady or Nelson Mandela. You gave birth to an average child who will go about his/her daily life, work the rest of their life, have problems, issues and success (if you’re lucky) get married, have average moronic kids, retire and then die. Welcome to life. STOP feeding their over-inflated egos and turning them into narcissists. Stop telling them when they trace their hand and make a fuckin’ turkey in second grade “omg! that’s amazing hun, you are going to be a world famous artist”. Fuck no they aren’t. It’s a fuckin’ hand turkey, relax. I heard a comedian do a bit once about parents and how no matter what the child did it was always “special” it went something like “Look my little boy just started running, he is going to be in the Olympics one day” to the comedians reply “yes but he is also drooling so maybe it will be the Special Olympics”. Now what happens when your little hand turkey child thinks he is the “best” at everything. What happens when he gets grades for not trying, trophies for not winning and patted on the back for everything. What happens when this child doesn’t understand what hard work and failing is all about. What happens when this child gets their first job and has to “earn” a paycheck, advancement and overall be just a number in a company and not CEO after 10 mins on the job. Reality is going to come crashing down, crushing his/her dreams. Trust me, that’s a LOT harder on a person then not getting a soccer trophy when you were 8 because your team sucked ass. Losing isn’t a bad thing. Pain and sadness and failure aren’t bad either. It makes us who we are. I haven’t been successful in every relationship I’ve ever had but each time someone leaves I take that pain, loss, and failure and grow from it. Each time I quit a job, get fired, fail at something it makes me do better the next time.

Now this is just your generic self-esteem bullshit. Start drilling down and you will see that people who have “self-esteem” issues have greater problems then self worth, value or whatever. Do you really think sitting in front of a mirror for 10 mins each morning saying shit like “I am a good person, I can be what I want, I am a winner” and other bullshit is going to fix the problem??? No it’s the same thing as your mother telling you for years that your hand turkey was the greatest thing since Leonardo da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa. Your affirmations are stupid. How about “To be successful I need to work hard, sometimes fail, sometimes not, to be in love I need to open my self up and stop with the bullshit, to try fail is better then not trying at all” but no, your narcissistic ways are all about “how great you are”. Again, you aren’t great. Your a fuckin average moron at best. Being great and special isn’t going to fix any problems. I don’t care if you have the greatest self-worth ever you still can and will fail. I’ve seen douchebags who think they are the shit fail at everything they do and kids hate life and themselves do amazing. Self-esteem isn’t the problem.

Also if you have low self-esteem and think you are shit or a douchebag…. Well you’re probably shit and a douchebag. Feeling better about yourself is just going to make you a piece of shit, douchebag with an overinflated ego, well in reality makes you a bigger piece of shit and dochebag.

So there you go here is a little rant of how much of a piece of shit you are. Embrace your inner loser and move the fuck on already. And most important stop over-inflating your little morons heads for just breathing. Remember they aren’t special, you’re not special and most importantly I’m the only one who is special.

“On Live with Regis and Kelly Thursday, the Switch star, 41, was discussing dressing up as Barbra Streisand for the September issue of Harper’s Bazaar when she let the word slip.

“You’re playing dress up!” Regis told her. She replied, “Yes, I play dress up! I do it for a living, like a retard!” Peter Berns, CEO of The Arc (a nonprofit advocate for those with intellectual and developmental disabilities), tells UsMagazine.com it was “extraordinarily offensive and inappropriate.””

Wow if she is getting shit for that I can’t imagine what would happen if I ever become famous or run for office. I would be fucked. Do you think that some day this site is going to be used against me?

A while back I did an unboxing video for Gelaskins and was amazed at how great of a product this was. Yeah it looks like it’s just a sticker for your phone but the quality is amazing. It’s a thick re-stickable (is that even a word) 3m thing that rocks. Well today I got a new one for my new iPhone. I plan on designing a WinkyFace.com one and will do an unboxing video of that one, but for now just wanted to give Gelaskins some more props! Also you can see from the picture it comes with side skins. This gets rid of the antenna issue that the iPhones are having and also makes it look like more of a wrap. Worth the price right there!

Anyway, check them out! They have skins for plenty of shit from phones, iPads, Kindles, etc. Not only that their customer service is awesome! I ordered a batch for the family, had a problem and they took care of it no questions asked! Great group of people up there. And no I’m not getting paid to kiss their ass on my site.

ANCESTOR
By Scott Sigler

Greetings faithful reader(s) of my inspiring book reviews.

I am torn about this review. I love Sigler writings and have enjoyed INFECTED and CONTAGIOUS as much as any great book that I have read. Waiting for the third installment of the proceeding books, I picked up ANCESTOR. Needless to say, this novel left me un-inspired. I know it’s not the best way to dive into a book with great expectations (wow what a good name that would be for a book), so I was shocked when I read a remake of Jurassic Park. Generically altered carnivores implanted in cows wrecking havoc and eating everything in their sight, including each other. Enter the usual dinosaur-type creatures munching their way through blood and guts. HOWEVER, and this is the fun part, the creatures are black and white with cow hide inherited from mom (very funny). What kept me reading this entire novel was the following question: Was Scott writing this tongue-in-cheek as a parody of similar novels?

Read it for your self to figure out what the author’s intent is. I say –it’s a goof!

Yeah I’m going to change the format and style of Winky. It’s going to still be me being a douche but I’m going to also change it in to a personal blog.

Sticking by the shit I write and since the bashing of Facebook I posted the other day, I decided to delete my Facebook account. Well techically it’s still there to admin the WinkyFace Fan Page as well as some other fan pages I admin, but for personal use it’s shut down. It will be cleaned out totally in the following days to come. And I have to admit just having it shut down for the last few days has been nice. Though it is a catch 22 kind of. I can’t see people doing stupid shit and believe it or not I got a lot of “spark” from you morons there. This gave me a great idea though! Fuck social networking, you run a site. Time for a change!!

So back to the makeover. I have always wanted to dedicate more time to WinkyFace.com but found it hard to find the time. Recently my girlfriend and I have decided to take a break and an idol mind will really fuck with a person so I need to keep busy. Also with killing time on Facebook, Twitter and other social networking bullshit I couldn’t find the time for more web shit. Now that that is done and my personal life has gone through a drastic change I will be able to get this shit going.

First the “theme” of the site is going to change. And by theme for you people who aren’t tech savvy or just flat out retarded I mean the color, layout and feel of the site.

Next sections will be added. Haven’t worked it out yet but I figure something like:

Morons in the News
Famous Douche Bags
My Personal Shit
Movies that suck/rock
People that suck
The making my dad not feel old and useless book review section

Or something like that. This isn’t totally worked out yet but you get the fuckin’ idea.

The biggest change is a personal section. This will be a place where I can post about my travels, post photos, etc. I know throughout all these posts this shit has been peppered in there (Paris, Tattoosday etc) but this will be a little more involved. Think of it as Twitter/Myspace/Facebook/Personal blog all rolled into one.

I am also going to try to keep current with shit that relevant. Seeing more movies and posting a review, doing more unboxing videos and even some straight up video reviews about shit. I mean who wouldn’t want to see me buy a Fleshlight and do an unboxing video and then video review about it. Fuck, that would be some funny shit! And no I’m not going to demonstrate using it you fuckin’ perv!! Sometimes it will be something small and stupid I buy other times who knows it may be something big. No idea yet.

Along with that I want to do some more just random vblogs. Not always “skit” type shit like my “Fuck” video (which was a HUGE fuckin’ hit among the Jeep Club members I guess) but just random thoughts and shit. Like the other million plus YouTubers out there. Yeah I know not original, but I have a lot of people asking me “when is the next one coming out”. Well asshole if you could comment rather then ask me in person I may..

Anyway I’ll be working on these changes for the next few weeks and you should start seeing changes soon. If you happen to log on to check it out and something doesn’t seem right or the font, colors, or formatting seems off don’t freak out. You probably caught it during the time I was fucking around. If you notice the problems are lasting a few days and don’t seem to be going away please shoot and email or comment and let me know I fucked it up.

Another thing I want to do but it will probably fail miserably is fucking with you all. I want you fuckheads to actually do some work. Shoot me emails, questions, or things you think are funny (the last one being the best because nothing is better when someone thinks they are funny and I get to bash them for being retarded. It’s like when you have a comedian friend and see people trying to “share their jokes with them” or when they say “all my friends think I’m sooo funny”). Seriously though if you want Winky advice, my opinion or just found something cool you think I should post or rip apart, want me to see a movie (new or old), review a crazy product or whatever, don’t be shy. Shoot me an email and let me know and I’ll post it up.

Thanks for the support assholes and keep reading!

Off to Rausch Creek Offroad Park for a few days and will be back late next week! Enjoy the silence morons.

This looks awesome! Honestly this looks un-fuckin-believable! I can’t wait to see this. Only 147 days till it’s in theaters!

Well I’m back! Yeah it’s been a while and for the last few months I have been slacking. Sitting on a few book reviews from my dad and a few video blogs and posts I’m working on. So instead of keeping all 6 of my fans waiting I figured I’d toss you out a bone.

Ok I’m a hypocrite because like the rest of you morons I have a Facebook site as well but I’m going to bash it anyway. Now I’m not going the same route as the shit I’ve read about it online: Privacy issues, shady business dealings and all that shit. I’m gonna put my own spin on why I think Facebook sucks and some things that just piss me off to no end.

First lets talk about the shitty “like” button. This one is probably the single most reason I fuckin’ hate Facebook and the moronic people on it. Here is an example. A nameless friend of mine posted up something like “Shitty day, sitting on my couch sad and about to cry” then you see “4 people like this”. Wait what?!?!?! Your “friends” like this? Why in the world would your friends like the fact that you are miserable? That you have had a shitty day? How fuckin heartless and offensive can one person be? Let alone the other 3 morons who “like” that as well. Now if that isn’t bad enough you read the comments and it’s like “Cheer up girlfriend, call you later”….. Later? In the amount of time it took you to log in to Facebook, scroll down the current posts, find this one, comment on it and send it, then upload shitty, out of focus pictures from the binge drinking last night, you could have called your friend to check in on her. But instead you “like” your friends misery and want to show everyone else online how much you care about her by posting a petty comment.

Now speaking of comments another thing that really drives me bat shit crazy is the level of depth you people think you have. First if you are going to quote something make sure its the correct quote. Nothing is worse then posting the lyrics to a song then fuckin’ them up. “I used ta do a little but a little wouldn’t do
So the little guy fell around”. Hey asshole its “So the little got more and more”. And what the fuck is it with the sappy, lovey, touchy-feely quotes. Your not a motivational speaker and your really not that deep. You’re quotes are grade school comments at best. “Never search for true love because true love searches for you and if it’s meant to be it will find you and if you find true love don’t fall too hard because when you fall in love it’s hard on the knees, but when you fall you will find out that your friends are here are for you and they are the ones who love you and you then see what love is really about”. Oh My Fuckin’ GOD! Someone shoot me!!! Did some whacked out cokehead really type this shit at 3:30am and think this was deep? It gave me a headache just reading it. But of course there are 7 people who “like it” and 4 other bimbos commenting “I know how you feel girl, I’ll be here to pick you up when you fall… Call me later”. Holy shit I think I just heard another few brain cells commit suicide in my head….

Next thing that you fuckin idiots do on Facebook that drives me up the fuckin wall is your “Profile Pictures”. Now I’ll be the first to admit I’m using a picture from about 2 or 3 years ago and probably don’t look like that anymore but in all fairness it’s probably a cross of a high school picture and a current picture. If you found me and knew me from high school you’d say “Shit, that’s Aaron!” or if you met me in a bar last week you would know that was me. The other reason I have that pic up is my little brother took it for a photo class and since I’m a proud big brother he knows that I’m proud of him and I’m sure every time he sees it he says to himself “wow he really likes that picture I took of him, I took that” and that makes me happy. Yeah I do have a gay side so fuck off. Now back to your shitty profile pictures. Enough with the dog pictures ok. Nothing is worse then someone wanting to “friend” you and you kind of recognize the name and see he/she has 12 friends in common with you but her site is locked down and all you have to go by is the little picture of a dirty little fuckin snickerdoodle dog. Sorry but I don’t recognize the face so you must not be someone I know. No baby pictures either for the same fuckin reason. I don’t know your baby, you are almost 40 years old now and I haven’t seen you since high school so I have no fuckin idea who this ugly baby belongs to. Also no pictures of your toys, that includes but not limited to: Motorcycles, Cars, Motorhomes, Boats, Houses, Watches, Views from your last vacation hotel etc. For fuck sake just put your fat ass on camera and use a semi non revolting picture of yourself. Who gives a fuck if you have added 30 lbs since high school. I don’t give a fuck, your married with 7 kids, I don’t expect you to have that body you had at 19 when you were a college cheerleader. You went to shit, join the club and welcome to adulthood. And speaking of fat chicks we all know you are chubby, you’re not fooling anyone with the picture taken at arms length above your head to make you look thin. Plus it ends up being more of a shock when we finally add you and think “wow she looks great from her profile pic” only do discover in her photo album she looks like John Candy in drag. Just own it already. You are who you are stop trying to impress the internet because honestly we don’t care. Now guys don’t think you are off the hook on this either. If you are 40 years old and still saying shit like “waz up bitchez yo, popin capz and takin’ namez son” STOP! You’re white, have a child and live in Newton. Enough. We know you are “hard”, great, but leave that for the current generation of Somerville High kids please. And for the love of god put a fuckin’ shirt on. No one want’s to see your creepy latenight topless webcam photo. You look like pedophile surfing late night chat rooms and Chris Hansen is going to bust in any second. It’s just creepy.

Another reason that Facebook sucks is now EVERYONE is one it. That’s great. Families can keep in touch, you re-connect with long lost friends and bla-fuckin’-bla. The problem with this is my Twitter account is linked to my Facebook status. (for you non-tech people that means anything I write in Twitter gets shot out to my Facebook status) Now with my Twitter account, as well as this site, I do it for me, I could care less if you follow or read, but I enjoy making myself laugh and being an asshole. So sometimes I will write something retarded like “My junk is so big my jockstrap is nicknamed “The World Cup”". And what happens? My grandmother “likes” this…. Ewwww Nana!! What the fuck?!?! She isn’t suppose to “like” that?!?! What the hell, that’s just wrong.

By the way, your taste in music sucks and no one wants to know what the fuck you are listening to ALL fuckin’ day. Enough with the video posts of your shitty taste in music. Fine, post a song or two a day, that’s fine but please make sure it’s something worth posting. Promote your friends band, your cousins new video or whatever but honestly we don’t need to know the 30 songs you just listened and honestly we don’t give a fuck. I really don’t need to know that you like the new Creed CD and you are going to post 20 videos corresponding with the CD you have been listening to for two weeks. We get it, you like Creed. Good for you.

Groups, or Pages or whatever the fuck they are called. Enough with joining them. Please make sure they have some relevance to your life. Yeah I’ve joined a few, like I said in the beginning I’m a fuckin’ hypocrite. At least they have some relevance to my life. “I hate people that only call me for free tickets”. Fitting, Aerosmith is playing Fenway next month and how appropriate is this. My phone, email and day to day conversations have since ended with “any chance of getting tickets to Fenway” Ummm NO! Stop with the retarded groups like “If you see this picture you will never eat Wendys again” or “Likes when fish tastes like chicken” or “Lets see if this carrot can get more friends then Obama” Who gives a fuck! Enough, the first one or two have been funny but just because you just joined Facebook last week doesn’t mean that we haven’t been there for YEARS now and have seen it all. You and your stupid groups aren’t funny. And STOP suggesting them to me. I don’t give a fuck about your carrot or your lame ass groups which usually die off in about 2 days anyway. Also some information for you newbies out there, anything that makes you follow two or three tasks is a SCAM. If you can’t just click the “likes” button then it’s a way for a site, YouTube video, or whatever to get more hits. When you jump through the hoops it sends requests and hits to where ever the fuck they are porting it to and you are basically helping them spam the internet so stop it already. Use some common sense. Google it you’ll see. Fuck do I have to teach you everything.

Next, you are a fuckin lush. Plain and simple! If you are still drinking every night and posting pictures of your drunk ass all over town followed up by “omg I’m so hung over” the next day, you have a problem. I know, I know, “but Aaron, you’ve done that and what’s wrong with going out and having fun on Friday and Saturday night, that’s what the weekends are for”. You’re right, but I’m talking about the post you posted up last Wednesday morning. Following that Tuesday night bender. You have a problem and need some serious drug and alcohol treatment.

Enough with the numbers game too. Stop friending me just to add stable of “friends”. I haven’t seen you since 1992, don’t even remember your name, we aren’t friends and never were. Why would I add you now? What purpose or reason would I have to add you to my “friends”? Do you even know me. I had one class with you in high school for half a year, we aren’t buddies. Sorry to be harsh but it’s true. And if you are going to “add” me as a friend, send me a note. How about “Hey Aaron, remember me? We use to skate at Lincoln Park as kids. Just bumped in to you and wanted to know how ya been”. Don’t just randomly add me because we have a mutual friend then not say anything. Show me a little respect and say hello. Fuck common decency people. Introduce yourself. If we met at a party after all these years would you re-introduce yourself and maybe make some small talk or would you start telling everyone how great of a “friend” I am? God it’s the internet people but let’s not forget there are people behind this shit. Out of the maybe 30-40 requests I get a week (Mostly from Aero fans) not one “friend” adds a note. The sad part is more of the Aero fans attach some type of email saying “Hey Aaron, don’t know if you add fans or not but your step-dad rocks and if you arent private add me”. I get more respect from total strangers the I do from my so-called “friends”. Go figure…..

Lets stop with the Facebook games as well. I’ll admit I got hooked into Farmville for a bit. Mom and Grandmother wanted neighbors and I played for a couple weeks. It happens to the best of us. But stop with all the other games. Farmville, Cityville, Goldville, Somerville and your Wars too, Mafiawars, GuildWars, IraqWars, etc. We get it, you can play some games on Facebook. Stop sending me requests to play because I don’t have the time or I really don’t give a fuck. I was playing computer games back when you were hanging out in AOL chatrooms. I have been on the internet a lot longer then you. On the same subject enough with the “TOP 5″ lists and the “See how much so-n-so knows about you”. I don’t give a fuck about which 5 supermodels you think are bitchy and really give a fuck less about how much you know about me. I’m not going to “check it out” because honestly I know nothing about you and only added you because I was feeling generous that day you friend requested me. All I know is you got fat over the years.

Oh yeah comments in general. If I post something about what I’m currently doing, don’t fuck up the thread and start asking questions about what I did two weeks ago. If I’m posting up “Having some sweet BBQ with my son” Don’t start asking about my Paris trip three weeks ago. Email me or just stat a new thread on my wall. For fuck sake you are fucking with the flow of my page. Next thing I have 10 people talking about Paris under a BBQ post with my son?? Continuity people. Lets stay on track please. The Paris post is only two inches further down my page. Find it you lazy ass and comment there. What the fuck.

This kind of goes back to profile pics and comments again. You’re a whore. Yeah I said it. This goes for both guys and girls. If you are married or in a committed relationship and you are commenting on how “hot” someone looks, you’re an asshole. If your wife or husband isn’t one of your “friends” and you have pics of you showing your boobs or abs all over the place you are an attention getting whore. If you allow everyone to comment on how sexy, hot or great you look you have no respect for your other half and honestly you have some self esteem issues. If you are looking to the internet to validate your beauty you have problems.

Lastly get a fucking decent camera. Enough with the shitty out of focus pictures. Yeah we all take a few bad shots but they still look semi-cool and may be the only one we have of that shot. But if all your pictures look like they were shot through a dirty window it’s time to invest in a good camera.

So there you have it. Facebook sucks! If you made it through this whole post maybe start a little fuckin’ group about it.

My flight left Boston at about 7:00 PM local time Monday June 28th. I landed in Paris Tuesday the 29th at about 7:30 AM local time, by the time I went through customs and met my ride it was 8:00 AM local time. My flight was leaving Wednesday afternoon at 2:00 PM so this gave me just about 30 hours in Paris. Not much time right??? Wrong! That’s plenty of time to do everything a city has to offer if your not a pussy and go balls out.

8:00 AM:
Met my ride at the terminal gate and drove from Airport to hotel. The traffic was brutal! It was like any other major city during the morning commute. Slow and crazy. Now imagine sitting in your normal traffic commute but there are hundreds of motorcycles and scooters splitting lanes like crazy people. The only difference is that in Paris (as well as when I have been to the UK) people look out for them and give them the right of way. Pretty sick if you ask me. Wish we didn’t drive like such assholes here because that would be awesome. Oh well. On the way to the hotel I got to see some normal shit. The stadium they built for the World Cup in the late 90s (I think it was then when they hosted it) it’s kind of beat these day and is showing it’s age some. Some shanty towns on the side of the highway, some tech buildings and normal shit you see on the highway getting closer to a major city. Mostly I was a bit tired and just wanted to get to the hotel. Once we got in to Paris it was pretty sweet. So many things to look at. Shopping that makes Rodeo Drive look like the ghetto. Flagship stores for all the trendy, designer crap that I would never wear. Still cool to see. All the drones waiting out in line in front of the Louis Vuitton at 9:30 am made me think of all the Apple Fanboys waiting out in line to get their new iPhone. Wonder if there is anything I can afford in LV? Probably not.

As we got closer to the hotel shit got a lot cooler. Some crazy sights for sure. Amazingly constructed buildings dating back to who the hell knows when. Old as shit. The driver (this German kid who has been with the band for a few weeks now) was rambling information about the sites and saying their French names for em but between that, his German accent and my lack of sleep I had no idea what the fuck he was saying.

10:00 AM:
We slowly make a corner about 100 yards from the hotel and check out what I see.

That’s right. A Tom Brady New England Patriots jersey in the Window! How fuckin’ awesome is that shit. Cool as hell…. Go PATS!!!

Next I check in to the Hyatt Paris. Sweet hotel, but at this point all I’m thinking about is getting an hour or so of sleep.

So I make my way quietly in to the room as not to wake my family, crawl in to bed (splitting a room with my bother Roman) who wakes up right as I lay down. We talk for a few minutes and both crash out till about 3pm.

Fuck!! 3:00 PM:
Well there was a few hours wasted, how the fuck am I suppose to see everything when I wasted the whole afternoon sleeping. We get up and shower and get ready to go out. I slam down a French Coca-Cola Lite to get my caffeine fix.

That didn’t work so I make a quick hotel room coffee and a Red Bull. Now ready to go. We decide to walk over to the Tumi store because I wanted to get a new bag for short travel. I have overnight bags, and HUGE bags and a HUGE duffel bag but nothing for like a few days and since Tumi rocks I wanted to check out the store. On the way (only a few blocks away we see some cool shit).

We snag a sweet Tumi bag and drop it off back at the hotel…. Shopping in Paris, check!

Next we decide to hit a French cafe on a corner in Paris because, well because that’s what you always see in the movies. Now they have two types of cafes in Paris. A brasserie and a cafe. Fuck if I know, but I guess the difference is the brasserie serves “proper food” while the cafe has more like snacks. Whatever, we hit a famous brasserie called Cafe de la Paix.

I got a SWEET toasted ham and cheese sandwich, Roman got some beef carpaccio and Ben got a vegi sandwich.

AMAZING!! The food was killer. I have no idea what type of cheese was in my sandwich but it was like butter!

Washed down the whole thing with some French beer.

Then to top off the meal I had the best creme brulee I’ve ever had!

Words can’t describe the creme brulee. Was nothing like what you get here in the states. It’s one of my favorite things to get so I’ve had it all over and this was hands down the BEST I’ve ever tasted.

Sitting on the corner with a full belly and smoking (because that’s what you’re suppose to do in France). We hung out for a bit and watched the people walk around.

After that we walked around to find a French chocolate shop. Once we all got some French chocolates for our girlfriends we notice it was almost 7:00pm and we need to get back to the hotel to change because we were off to see Crazy Horse. Sitting in a cafe, eating food, smoking cigarettes, watching people and mocking them as a local French person: check, check check and check! Bucket list is getting smaller. Oh yeah and hooking up signifigant other with some sweets direct from Paris, check!

8:00 PM:

Now if you don’t know what Crazy Horse is it’s a Moulin Rouge / Burlesque type of show. It’s one of the more famous spots in Paris. Lots of topless dancing, but not like sleazy strip club shit, more like sexy arty shit.

This was amazing. It went from 8:30 till about 10:00 pm with a little 10 minute intermission. If you ever find yourself in Paris you have to check this out. And no, not just for the boobies either. The dancing and lights were amazing! Hella cool. It was amazing. Great music, great lighting, amazing preforming and overall just a great experience. Burlesque show in Paris, check!

10:00 PM:
Next we rushed off to catch the last of the Aerosmith show. Luckly we got there a few songs before the encore. We ran up to the side of the stage and watched about 4 songs. From what I could tell it was a kick ass night! They were really rocking the house.

The setlist for that show was:
01. Love In An Elevator
02. Back In The Saddle
03. Falling In Love (Is Hard On The Knees)
04. Eat The Rich
05. Pink
06. Livin’ On The Edge
07. What It Takes
08. Jaded
09. Mama Kin
10. Cryin’
–Drum Solo–
11. Rag Doll
12. Stop Messin’ Around
13. I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing
14. Sweet Emotion
15. Baby Please Don’t Go
16. Draw The Line
Encore:
17. Dream On
18. Walk This Way
19. Toys In The Attic

We caught the show from the beginning of Sweet Emotion till Walk this Way. We had to make it back to the car because we were doing a runner. A runner is when we bolt from the venue before the house lights even come on. Seeing Aerosmith rock another country, check!

11ish (didn’t see what time we got out of there):

We drive around Paris and checked out the following:

Notre Dame de Paris

The Eiffel Tower

The Arc de Triomphe

The Louvre

All the sites to see in Paris (well the big 4 that are on every little shitty French souvenir)…. Check!

1:30 AM:
Back at the hotel and starving! Order a cheeseburger and fries (are they called French Fries over there? Fuck if I know. The menu was in French).

2:30 AM:
Check flight status and online check-in. Flight is fuckin packed and there are no seats available. I got a middle and pissed. Looks like Business Class is full too. Fuck it, time for some much needed sleep and I’ll worry about that when I get to the airport.

8:30 AM:
Bananas delivered to the room via room service? Roman and I look at each other and wonder what the fuck room service is doing delivering bananas to the room so early.

8:40 AM:
Joe peeks his head in the room asking if we got some bananas from room service. Surreal if ya ask me.

9:00 AM:
Showered and ready to go but have an hour and half before my ride is here. I go down the list of all the shit I have done and remembered that I still need to get a crepe before I leave France. I walk down the street to a little hole in the wall cafe and try to order a crepe. After a funny English vs. French conversation I get an amazing crepe and a Coca-Cola Lite and chow down.

Breakfast crepe on a sidewalk cafe in Paris, check!

10:30 AM:
Back at the hotel loading up in the car for the ride back to the airport. Traffic through Paris was brutal again, but once we hit the highway we blasted there.

11:30 AM:
Arrive at the airport and ready to check in. The line to check in was MASSIVE but the line for Business Class was only about 2 people deep. I said to myself, fuck this you got a great smile and can schmooze like the best of them, hit the Business Class line and work your magic. Now I know Business Class is hella full too because I checked last night. I go to the counter and put on a huge smile and say “I know I’m not in Business, but can I upgrade my ticket?”. Well of course she comes back with “Oh I’m sorry sir but Business is full and there are about 60 people waiting on standby for a Business upgrade at the moment”. Well I say “ok” and tell her I’ll go hit the other line then and “thanks for the help and have an awesome day… no wait have an awesome week” *smile*. She smiles and says “Don’t worry about it sir, I can help you out here” Inside I know I just rocked past that 45 minute to an hour line and checked in. I kindly ask her if there is anything other then my middle seat and tell her how helpful she has been. Long story short she rocks an exit row (CRAZY amount of leg room) and puts me in an isle seat. I tell her, forget having a good week, have a great month! *smile* She kindly thanks me for being nice and I make my way to security. No line and I blast through in about 5 mins.

12:15 PM:
Slowly walk around the airport and buy my son a souvenir (and in case you think there is more to offer then the sites I went to in Paris, you’re wrong. It’s the exact 4 sites, Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, Arc and the Louvre, that are on the little snow globe I got for him). The got some snacks for the trip and check out the shops. Debate buying a duty-free Tissot T-Touch Watch but with the exchange rate it’s still not that good of a deal. I do try it on anyway and I have to say that shit is sweet!! Will be my next watch for sure.

Buy my son something from every place I go, check!

1:30 PM:
They start boarding my flight but I am still in a duty free shop. I am group 4 for boarding so I have plenty of time still. I notice the Cuban cigars and say fuck it, I’m going to risk it and buy some.

Become an international cigar smuggler, check!

1:50 PM:
I make my way through the door and board the flight.

2:00 PM:
They are shutting the doors and I realize that it was almost exactally 30 hours I have spend in Paris and though how fuckin’ cool of a trip that was.

So there you have it. Next time someone says “I just don’t have the time to travel” you slap them in the mouth and tell them they just don’t know what the fuck they are talking about. I was gone less then three days total. I left the house Monday afternoon at 3:30 PM and was back in my house Wednesday at 6:00 PM. I mean fuck I was really only not home for Tuesday. I mean if ya think about I was in Boston on Monday and then Wednesday and look at all the shit I did. So stop bitching about not having the time and “there is too much to do in such a short amount of time” and all the bullshit and book the damn flight.

Oh yeah by the way, the Cuban cigars made it through US Customs

Today the great white race mourns as KKK member Robert Byrd dies at the age of 92. If you don’t know anything about him let me get you up to speed with this eloquent quote of his:

“I shall never fight in the armed forces with a Negro by my side… Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds. — Robert C. Byrd, in a letter to Sen. Theodore Bilbo (D-MS), 1944″

In all fairness he did denounce the KKK at one point but like all pussy ass racists he reared his ugly face in 1964 and led a filibuster of the Civil Rights Act. What a great guy huh?

Oh btw he was a longest-serving Democratic Senator ever. Yeah and the Republicans are racist ones right? At least I can sleep knowing that no one in my party is/was a Klan member. Of course the Dems will be so proud of this legacy and call it a tragedy…. Fuckin’ hypocrites.

I’m off to Paris today for a quick trip. I’m going to hang out with my family and to check out the Aerosmith show. I will be back Wednesday night, not that it really matters because I hardly ever post anymore….. Hey, that’s what you get for not giving me feedback or leaving comments.

Wisconsin County Board Supervisor Peggy West is a fuckin idiot! She actually has no fuckin clue and should stick to eating cheeseburgers and stuffing that fat trap then trying to speak in public. Once again these are the fuckin morons you people support. “If Arizona bordered Mexico I would think twice” about the boycot. Hey you stupid cow, Arizona does! Maybe instead of “googled” it you should have paid a little more attention in school but no, your fat ass was thinking about cheese and fried chicken. She has no facts and clearly a braindead heffer yet she wants to boycott Arizona. This shit makes me want to puke. I hope her and Janet Napolitano (who makes snap judgments before even reading the what 10 page law? Sorry you couldn’t find the time to actually do some reading and research before you open your stupid trap) choke on a chicken bone. Nothing pisses me off more then uneducated or uninformed people in power trying to push that power around. You have a responsibility and a job, is it too much to ask you show that power and influence a little respect and educate yourself on a subject (health care bill, cap and trade, immigration policies, states vs federal rights, stimulus money) before you make judgments? I mean I am fuckin’ paying your salary, it’s the least you can do.

If you guys out there don’t know two of these guys are my brothers. Tony and Adrian (The T and A of TAB… yeah I love saying that). Well here is the new video from the song ‘She Said No (I Love You)’. If you like it, and you fuckin’ better! Check em out! http://tabtheband.com/. They also have a Facebook page and MySpace and all that shit too but I’m too lazy to post the links..

This isn’t a real trailer. I guess the story goes some director made this to show Warner Brothers as a pitch to get this movie made. Now the Mortal Kombat movie from 1995 really sucked, well now that I think of it most video game to movie movies suck but I have to say this looks pretty bad ass. It looks over the top serious and campy which is exactly what I think of when I think of the Mortal Kombat games. If you find the IMDB page it says 2013 as a reboot. Too bad the studio is going to get it’s little grubby hands on this and butcher the fuck out of it and make it PG-13. Don’t they understand that the people who actually played Mortal Kombat in the arcade are in their mid to later 30s now? What the hell can’t we have some grownup movies from time to time. So please for the love of god WB please don’t fuck this one up again…..