I snapped this picture while watching TV the other day. If you can’t read the bottom corner it says “Dramatization”. Also if you can’t tell its a bunch of little “that guy from the Village People” guys cleaning a casserole dish in a dishwasher. Really? You had to fucking tell me this wasn’t real? You mean there aren’t a bunch of little gay guys cleaning my pots and pans when I turn on the dishwasher? Like if they didn’t write this some jackass would open the dishwasher mid-cycle and say “WTF where are all the little guys cleaning my shit” I’m gonna file a class action lawsuit and get mines!!!
I remember a few years back there was a Hyundai Tiburon commercial where the car was under the water swimming around with a bunch of sharks all of the sudden there was a disclaimer saying something like “car does not work underwater please do not attempt” Well shit on a stick looks like I’m buying a Honda than! Seriously though you know if they didn’t post this some asshole would buy a Tiburon (it’s name means shark btw) and try this and when it fails miserably blame Hyundai for it not working. Personal responsibility morons!!! I think it’s out of control. “Professional Drivers on Closed Course, DO NOT ATTEMPT” really? You mean I can’t drive over a cliff, graze the ocean during low tide, drive through a fireball, jump a building, do burnouts in the center of the highway, try to have a giant hamster drive my car, put a GIANT Christmas tree in the back of my pickup? The best is when they show a random shot of a car just driving down the street not doing anything special and it says “do not attempt”?!?! Now I’m confused? I can’t just normally drive my car down the road? What the fuck am I suppose to do with it?
I don’t even want to get in to disclaimers on the radio! Those are even worse. Ever hear one after a bank commercial or investment commercial or mortgage commercial? The dude is talking so fucking fast and the disclaimer is LONGER than the fucking commercial to begin with. “Prices and rates may vary, see website for details, investments are not guaranteed, 25% APR after 10% down and 30 days of service, bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla” WTF dude the commercial was about 15 seconds long. How about just say “See website for details” and leave it at that. Even worse than that is the once a week disclaimer that radio station breaks in with. You know, the one about the contests and the content of the shows and the callers and shit. Telling you that everything is the property of bla bla and that contest are open to this person but not that person! Fucking shoot me!
Lastly are the disclaimers on TV. Can they make the print any fucking smaller?!?! WTF!!! I have a 50″ HTDV that is crystal clear and I can’t read one fucking word of that shitty paragraph they put up. Not to mention that you have to be a fucking speed-reader to even read it. I swear it’s only on there for about a second. What am I suppose to pause the TV and walk up to it with fucking glasses and read what the fuck you are trying to say? If you are going to be stupid and make a stupid law or whatever about this @ least make the shit readable from my couch. Next time you see a commercial for a local law firm take a double look at the disclaimer! It’s fucking massive with the worlds smallest blurry print. It’s fucking insane!!! Please STOP!
The information on this site (and in the blog) is not intended to to make you feel better about yourself. Frankly, we don’t want it to do so either. Since the site can be viewed by any person on the planet, mostly morons who don’t get the humor anyway, we want you to know that reading this does not make you smarter or witty, in fact it probably makes you stupider. If you’re crazy enough to want that outcome, than go the fuck ahead and read this shit. Even if you contact us through the site or post a comment to the blog, that does not make you funnier either. Most of you try too hard. You may be the “funny” one in your group but we here at WinkyFace.com are professionals, please do not try this at home, you will fail. Not responsible for hurting your feelings, making you laugh till you pee your pants, want to hunt us down and hurt us, do not bend, fold or open without express or implied consent, take once a day, use only as directed, professional bloggers on a closed course, all rights reserved, not to be used as a cure or treatment, Hugh Jackman is not affiliated with this site other than being the biggest douche ever, any images posted are not my property and I don’t give a fuck that most are stolen, I claim no ownership of my words, thoughts or voices in my head, Grand Theft Auto made me do it. Don’t you feel better now? 
Your best blog yet!
TL/DR