So against my better conservative judgment I watched the movie Food Inc. the other day. Well the picture above is from the movie. If you can’t figure it out it’s the different in sizes between chickens back in the day and chickens today. Now if you remember I posted this post about “boneless chicken wings” If you didn’t read it click the link and come back here.
Ok did ya read it? Prob not because you are just as bad at following directions as I am. Anyway all you “boneless wing” people are to blame for this. Because of you and your obsession with bland white meat ‘wings” you have caused us to have fucked up Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator chickens. These things are so big and have such big breasts they can’t even take more than two or three steps. From you the picture you can’t really tell but these things are all breast. Everything else is the same size (like my REAL wings) Listen I like wings so unless they create a super chicken with more than two wings I will sleep easy tonight knowing that I haven’t changed the biology of a chicken due to my obsessive need for more shitty breast meat “wings”. Now I know someone going to say “yeah but wings have gotten bigger over the years also”, well I don’t like the big wings either so shut your mouth hippy. I like the smaller ones. Always have. I don’t want my buffalo drumstick the size of a turkey drumstick, if I did I would have buffalo turkey wings.
So I wanted to let all you children who still order “boneless wings” as an adult you have fucked up our chicken ecosystem (I know there is no chicken ecosystem but it sounded smart, basically you fucked up our chickens!) Man up eat the meat off a bone like a real man and not some little fag who doesn’t want to get his bitchy little hands dirty. Boneless wings STILL SUCK 
a) “chicken ecosystem” may just be the expression of the year – how do you keep coming up with stuff that is so snaptastically poignant?! and b) i’d like to take this brief internet moment to publicize the fact that i knew the thing about corn being in everything without ever seeing that movie. i still haven’t seen it so i’m trusting secondhand feedback telling me how amazingly right i am.
Ok. I did go read your rants about the boneless thang and adults eating like children. I dunno, maybe the guy didn’t have any teeth or just had dental surgery, can’t say. If not and he was healthy then, yes. If I went out ot dinner with a real man and he ordered tenders, I’d prob stare at him funny.
Second I too like the smaller wings. In fact the wings are my fav part of the bird. Period.
I think we simply need to stop fucking with everything on the planet. Chickens even taste weird anymore. I eat very little of it because between that and the fact that they do so much shit to these animals now, I don’t want to ingest that toxic crap only to find out 20 years from now it causes cancer!! Its not normal to manipulate mother nature and they need to STOP it.
I’m also very tired tonight, so excuse any typos or shitty grammar. Like you care anyway, lol…leave the chicken alone is my point.
I once worked at a “chicken processing plant”, having said that makes me a moron! Yes, I know…..but I did quit!! I found out all kinds of crap you wouldn’t want to know. For instance what they feed chickens! It’s disguesting…..their own by-products..ground up into meal…which inclueds the feathers! (can I hear an ewwwwwww??) They keep the lights on in the chicken coops 24/7 so they eat all the time. That has to be gross. They inject them with all kinds of growth hormones, to make them biger and gain weight faster. And a bunch of other crap. Gone are the days of “back in the day” chickens, unless you know someone on a farm who raises “free range” chickens. So, either get used to it….or find an old McDonald’s farmer!!!
P.S. I like white meat, breasts and wings too. True tenders….are a part of the beast..that get pulled off the bird before the actual breast is removed, so doesn’t count as being an actual part of the breast. But some cut the breasts up length wise and call them tenders.